Hitch jokes

What do you say to a one-legged hitchhiker?

Hop in.

So there were three baby chickens and two mothers. The first baby said, "Why am I named Calf?"

And the mother said, "I f***ed a cow."

Then the second baby came up to its mother, and it said, "Why am I named B***h?"

And its mom said, "I f***ed a wolf."

And the final baby came to its mother and said, "Why am I named Orphan?" And because its mother wasn't there to see it, this is what I have to say: "Because you are one, you ducking hitch!!"

The hardest part of picking up a hitch hiker is tying them up.

I got detention yesterday because I told the emo kid to "Hang in there."

To the guy in the wheelchair who stole my camouflage jacket... You can hide, but you can't run.

"What do we want?"

"HEARING AIDS!"

"When do we want them?"

"HEARING AIDS!"

I'm doing a charity bungee jump for the local disabled.

It's called "spastics on elastics."