Hitch jokes

What do you say to a one-legged hitchhiker?

Hop in.

So there were three baby chickens and two mothers. The first baby said, "Why am I named Calf?"

And the mother said, "I f***ed a cow."

Then the second baby came up to its mother, and it said, "Why am I named B***h?"

And its mom said, "I f***ed a wolf."

And the final baby came to its mother and said, "Why am I named Orphan?" And because its mother wasn't there to see it, this is what I have to say: "Because you are one, you ducking hitch!!"

The hardest part of picking up a hitch hiker is tying them up.

I got detention yesterday because I told the emo kid to "Hang in there."

"What do we want?"

"HEARING AIDS!"

"When do we want them?"

"HEARING AIDS!"

My depressed friend said he wanted to jump off of a bridge but he didn’t wanna commit suicide. I told him if you jump and yell "parkour," it’ll just be a failed stunt.

I asked my rigger buddy if he could tie me up later, he said, "I'm a frayed knot."