Hes jokes
Trump is going too far.
He deported a printer because it didn't have papers.
Why did the blind man fall down the well?
He couldn't see that well.
Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new piano?
Neither has he.
Why does Jesus never vacation on Earth?
Because he traveled down about 2,000 years ago, got with some Jewish chick, and they're still talking about it!
Did you hear about the guy who got a tattoo of an octopus?
He got inked up.
I met a guy in a wheelchair today. His face was battered and bruised. "What happened to your face?" I asked.
"I'm a Paralympian," he replied.
"Boxing?"
"No, ... hurdles."
A priest, a rapist, a pedophile, and a homosexual walk into a bar.
He orders a drink.
What did the pedophile say when he got out of prison?
I feel like a kid again.
My doctor called me fat. I told him I wanted a second opinion and he said, "OK, you're ugly too."
Chuck Norris once heard nothing can kill him. So he tracked down nothing and killed it.
A prisoner was told how he'll be executed. Needless to say, he was shocked.
What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and the computer he's hooked up to? The computer runs.
Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He just stares them down and gets the information he wants.
Why was the man fired from a calendar factory? He took a day off.
What was Frankenstein's second job? -- He was a bodybuilder.
What do you call a dog with no legs? -- Doesn't matter what you call him, he's not coming.
Why was the DJ banned from the supermarket?
He was stealing all the samples.
Why did the author go to the emergency room?
His editor told him he needed an appendix removed.
What did Captain Picard say when he brought his sewing machine to the repairman? -- "Make it sew."
What did the buffalo say to his son when he left for college? -- "Bison."