A new drug has been developed for lesbians with depression.
It’s called Trycoxagain.
Unfortunately, NASCAR has been canceled.
The woke people heard that it was a human traffic ring.
My daughter has been writing letters asking Satan for gifts. Imagine my shock when I realized she has dyslexia.
Me: Brings in missing child.
Police: OMG this kid has been missing for 3 months. Here is your reward.
Me: Oh, cool.
NEXT DAY
Me: Brings in 8 other kids.
Police :0 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Donald Trump is proudly anti-woke. He has been falling asleep in his court cases every morning!
Your move, Ron DeSantis.
The show COPS has been dropped from broadcast
honoring the longstanding tradition of police turning off their cameras.
I don’t get why Katniss was bitching so much in ‘The Hunger Games’ books. Ethiopia has been competing for years and I don’t hear any of them complaining.
When your girlfriend has been vomiting for 2 weeks and you find out she’s not pregnant.
Bf-*yes I knew it was a prank*
She has cancer.
I asked my now ex-boyfriend why he’s scared of my cat. He said it was because of the scratches on my arm.
I told him that my cat doesn’t scratch, but he didn’t believe me. He realised what I meant when he noticed I kept hiding my wrist from everyone else.
(Kinda based on the fact that my ex is indeed scared of cats, and he has been scared of my cat, so yeah 😂)
Your momma is so old she has been a waitress at the last supper.
It has been rumored that Disney is developing a movie based on suicide. The title?
Finding Emo.
Why did the Puerto Rican American 🇺🇸 🇵🇷 that was a gay male 🇺🇸 🇵🇷 that was born physically challenged did not say anything to a group of gay white men that were not physically challenged after they called him a size queen after the Puerto Rican American 🇺🇸 🇵🇷 that was born physically challenged was done taking turns giving them a blowjob and was done taking turns swallowing their sweet cum? 🇺🇸 🇵🇷 Because it was the best meal that he ever had since he has been in prison for 30 years 🇺🇸 🇵🇷
Your hairline is so bad when you need a role model who has been having a tough life, you go to your barber.
😴 🛌 ⏰️ ✋️ If a gay male is married to a well-endowed physically challenged gay male that has been sleeping in bed for three hours nonstop, and he wants him to wake up do he can fix him his morning breakfast, how does he wake him up? Wake up sleeping Jesus by giving him a blowjob
The COVID-19 situation has been especially stressful for the Flat Earth Society.
They fear that social distancing measures could push people over the edge.
So this guy right, he has been through the worst shit in his life. He lost his house, his car, his wife, his kids, everything except his dog. About 2 weeks after he loses everything he goes to apply for a job. He attends work for the first 2 weeks to get his first paycheck and then calls in sick for about a month. He comes back to his boss' office after the month is over and his boss questions him. The man claims, "Sir, I was blowing chunks." "what do you mean by 'blowing chunks' ?" says the boss. The man replies with, " Chunks is the name of my dog..."
This man has been through all kinda shit in his life. So one day, he finally looks at himself in the mirror and says, "If another person looks at me again, I'm going to kill myself." He looks at himself and no one ever heard from him again.
You telling me Julius Caesar, who has been dead for well over 50 years, made this salad?
My neighbor has been mad at his wife for sunbathing nude. I personally am on the fence.
My (at the time) boyfriend told our chemistry teacher that blood is corrosive to steel.
Anyways, my sharpener isn’t working because the blade has been too badly damaged from something else...
