What happens when you have dry elbows at work? You don't have any elbow grease to put into it.
Did you hear what happened to Lorainna Bobbit? She was in an accident on the Garden State Parkway. She told the State Police Officer, "That some dick cut her off."
A man goes into the streets of Moscow and yells, “I am tired of this guy with a silly mustache and stupid rules being a leader!”
A soldier heard him, so he goes and catches him. Later, he brings the man to Stalin. The soldier says to Stalin what happened and Stalin asks the man, “Who were you thinking about when you yelled in the streets?”
The man responds, “Of course, I was thinking about Hitler!”
Stalin lets him go, but then he stops the soldier and says, “Who were YOU thinking about?”
If 9/11 happened again, I want to share a selfie of me flying that plane.
Most orphans were born on the highway. It’s where most accidents [happen].
What happened to the woman who dated a rapist?
She was date raped.
What's the second worst thing to happen to orphans?
They can't have sex.
"Why?"
Because they don't have anyone to call mommy or daddy.
Maybe the reason there isn't any physical evidence is because it didn't happen.
911 happened a while ago and it's slowly losing its fame.
Time for a remake!
What happened when a kid bullied an orphan?
The orphan said, "I’m going to tell my mom!"
Bully: "I wanna see your mom!"
Narrator: At that moment, he knew he messed up.
This was my friend's joke he wanted me to post;)
There's no Asian kids in my class, but it just happens to be the rice store and the pet store just ran out of stock...
What happened to people in Hiroshima and Nagasaki? They swapped races.
A panda walks into a restaurant, orders some food, and eats it. Once he was done, he shoots the waiter, then leaves.
Police and detectives arrive at the scene. They ask the waiter, "Who did this to you? What happened?"
The waiter replies, "A panda, eats, shoots, and leaves."
Where would the next Formula race happen?
Answer: On your flat chest.
What happens to teeth when they go in water?
Bro, I dunno, they get wet?
When I was going downstairs, Sum Ting Wong fell, and doctors say Sum Ting Wong happened.
Man: I must confess, Father.
Priest: What are you here to confess?
Man: I hit my wife and blamed her for what happened to our son.
Priest: And what happened to your son?
Man: He said a man raped him.
Priest: When and where did this happen?
Man: A local church. I don't know which one.
Priest: ...By whom?
Man: A priest, he said. He said the priest had black hair and blue eyes, kind of like you.
Priest: ...Shit
Yep, this happens when you play G.T.A., good God!
Rape can happen to anybody, so I think I will continue taking the short cut home through the dark alleyways, wearing barely anything and walk really close to bushes.
What happens when you find a bomb at your local bazaar?
It becomes a flee market.
