HA jokes
What has a head, a tail, but no body?
She's so ugly, she has to sneak up on a mirror.
Why does an orphan hate playing baseball?
Because it has no home base.
You're so bald, the Hair Club for Men has elected you president.
Women have so much evil in their blood that God has to drain it once a month. Hehehehehe
Memes
Why did the math book look so sad?
Because it has many problems.
Whoever has my voodoo doll, can you just finish me off already?
What has two legs, two arms, one dead and covered in red?
My ex-wife.
Why do orphans want an iPhone S? Because it has a home screen.
Africa has every gun except for what?
A water gun.
Yo mama so "PHAT," she has big boobs and nice legs!
What's the difference between a magician and a chorus line?
The magician has a cunning array of stunts!
What starts with "P" and ends with "E" and has a million letters?
Post Office.
What has four legs and an arm?
A Doberman in a playground.
A dad and his son walk out to the middle of the woods armed only with a shovel and a lantern.
Son: "Dad, it's creepy out here!"
Dad: "You're complaining? I'm the one that has to leave the woods alone!"
There are days I feel really bad for my Wife. She has to feed me in the same place I take a dump.
She really hates it when I spit my food back out.
What did the cookie say when he jumped off the cliff? Crumbs, ha ha!
Information has been leaked from government sources. When the current lock-up ends, the holder of the nation's purse, Fishi Rucksack, will launch a new initiative.
This will be to help the struggling "personal services" industry and will be labelled, "Sleep out to Help out."
The holy water in this church is of the highest quality: it has been assed by the bishop.
What's the difference between a happy family and a car guy? Only one has a family.