HA jokes
What did the cookie say when he jumped off the cliff? Crumbs, ha ha!
Yo mama so "PHAT," she has big boobs and nice legs!
What's the difference between a magician and a chorus line?
The magician has a cunning array of stunts!
What starts with "P" and ends with "E" and has a million letters?
Post Office.
Women have so much evil in their blood that God has to drain it once a month. Hehehehehe
Memes
There are days I feel really bad for my Wife. She has to feed me in the same place I take a dump.
She really hates it when I spit my food back out.
Information has been leaked from government sources. When the current lock-up ends, the holder of the nation's purse, Fishi Rucksack, will launch a new initiative.
This will be to help the struggling "personal services" industry and will be labelled, "Sleep out to Help out."
What's small, stupid, and has no dad?
Ben.
What's the difference between a violin and a fiddle?
A violin has "strings" and a fiddle has "strangs."
What do we call a skeleton who has a ton of travels?
A skele-TON!
A dad and his son walk out to the middle of the woods armed only with a shovel and a lantern.
Son: "Dad, it's creepy out here!"
Dad: "You're complaining? I'm the one that has to leave the woods alone!"
What's the difference between a happy family and a car guy? Only one has a family.
Have you ever stepped in Stephen Hawking's house?
Neither has he.
The holy water in this church is of the highest quality: it has been assed by the bishop.
Canada has free health care, here is a link to some Canada Facts! https://www.1stcontact.com/blog/20-interesting-facts-about-canada
What has four legs and an arm?
A Doberman in a playground.
What has legs but can't walk?
A veteran.
What has 15 arms, 9 legs, 8 heads, and 12 eyeballs?
A mosque after a missile strike.
What has two legs, two arms, one dead and covered in red?
My ex-wife.
What has 182 teeth and holds back a monster?
My zipper.