HA jokes
What has two legs, two arms, one dead and covered in red?
My ex-wife.
Africa has every gun except for what?
A water gun.
She's so ugly, she has to sneak up on a mirror.
You're so bald, the Hair Club for Men has elected you president.
Whoever has my voodoo doll, can you just finish me off already?
Memes
Why did the math book look so sad?
Because it has many problems.
Why do orphans want an iPhone S? Because it has a home screen.
What's the difference between a magician and a chorus line?
The magician has a cunning array of stunts!
What starts with "P" and ends with "E" and has a million letters?
Post Office.
Yo mama so "PHAT," she has big boobs and nice legs!
Information has been leaked from government sources. When the current lock-up ends, the holder of the nation's purse, Fishi Rucksack, will launch a new initiative.
This will be to help the struggling "personal services" industry and will be labelled, "Sleep out to Help out."
There are days I feel really bad for my Wife. She has to feed me in the same place I take a dump.
She really hates it when I spit my food back out.
What did the cookie say when he jumped off the cliff? Crumbs, ha ha!
Rapboat has to drug his own drink to get laid.
"Rapeboat" has six fingers on each hand and one big eyebrow. Signs of inbreeding.
Ur mom so stupid that she thought that Seventeen has four ghost members.
If you've spent less time inside your mother than your father has, you just might be from Alabama!
What does a crooked lawyer who is not on the ACLU payroll have in common with a crooked politician who has an office in Washington, DC?
They both sign their names using a blue pen 🖊 🖊.
What has 182 teeth and holds back a monster?
My zipper.
What do we call a skeleton who has a ton of travels?
A skele-TON!