HA jokes
What has a dog?
People.
I would tell you the pun about the broken pencil, but it has no point to it.
What do you say when your brother has too many jeans?
"Gene-ious!"
My owl turned 180 today.
He isn’t old, he just has a bad neck.
Why can’t U.S.A or England play chess?
Because the U.S.A has no towers, and England doesn’t have a queen.
Yo mama so fat, her cereal bowl has a lifeguard.
What sits on the seabed and has anxiety? A nervous wreck.
If you look for something for 10 days and a woman walks in, opens a cabinet, and finds it:
So, just hire a female pope for the Holy Grail that has been missing for 500 years so she just opens a cabinet and she finds it.
Yo mama so ugly, she has a sign in her garden saying, “Beware of the dog!”
If a gay male is married to a well-endowed, physically challenged gay male that has been sleeping in bed for three hours nonstop, and he wants him to wake up so he can fix him his morning breakfast, how does he wake him up?
Wake up sleeping Jesus by giving him a blowjob.
What has nut, long, big, and sticky? A Snickers bar.
Why did the orphan stop playing baseball?
Because baseball has a home, and an orphan does not.
Laugh now.
My wife is the only person that has "missing" posters attached to her ass.
A guy goes into the gas station and says, "I need a box of rubbers with pesticide."
The cashier said, "Pesticide? Don't you mean spermicide?"
The guy says, "No! My old lady has had a bug up her ass all week, and I am going to kill it."
Your mama is so fat.
She steps on the scales. She has to return in a couple days to get the results.
Why did the orphan get an iPhone 14 for his birthday? Because it has no home button.
Bruh, your forehead is so big even Megamind has some competition!
What is the difference between a baseball player and an orphan?
The baseball player has a home to run back to.
Q: Why is the Tower of Pisa leaning?
A: Because it has better reflexes than the Twin Towers.
What do Pink Floyd and Princess Diana have in common? The Wall was their last big hit.