HA jokes

What sits on the seabed and has anxiety? A nervous wreck.

What's the difference between me and a knife?

One has a point, and the other doesn't.

What animal has 5 legs?

A pitbull on a children's playground.

Unfortunately, NASCAR has been canceled.

The woke people heard that it was a human traffic ring.

Why is it that a physically disabled gay white male will refuse to ask his boss that is an abled bodied gay white male for an increase in his paycheck?

Since he has a very big white dick in his mouth, that could be the reason why.

If a gay male is married to a well-endowed, physically challenged gay male that has been sleeping in bed for three hours nonstop, and he wants him to wake up so he can fix him his morning breakfast, how does he wake him up?

Wake up sleeping Jesus by giving him a blowjob.

Your mama is so fat.

She steps on the scales. She has to return in a couple days to get the results.

There were three women, one was curvy in all the right places, one was skinny but had a booty on her, and last but not least there’s one that has a BBL. Then comes in a famous rapper, guess which one he picked???

When a deaf person has sex, do they use one hand to moan?

What do you call someone who has sex with foals, calves, and lambs? A Quadrupedophile.

What is Meat Loaf's new name now that he has passed?

Ground beef.

At least he always has a shoulder to cry on.

So your wife has died, and now she is marginally better in bed than before.

If you really want to get her to wiggle, simply add maggots.

It’s Christmas and Sally has a gift. She got a Barrie. Just kidding, she still hasn’t opened it.

I went to the store because I had to go to school to run up downstairs because my phone started calling me because I was playing Mario Kart on my kitchen sink's baby grandma, like if you cry every time.

"Do you have a noose?"

"Nose?"

"Yeah, noose- nose... I heard yours was stuffed lately--haha."

"I actually smell something--like a corpse. Is it you?"

"No."

*Dying on the inside has never been so detectable.*

What is the difference between a baseball player and an orphan?

The baseball player has a home to run back to.

Did you hear that Rushdie has a new book? It's titled "Buddha, that Fat Fuck."

Q: Why is the Tower of Pisa leaning?

A: Because it has better reflexes than the Twin Towers.

Texas is such a shitty state. There’s a reason it only has one star.