HA jokes
What do you say when your brother has too many jeans?
"Gene-ious!"
A guy sits at a bar in a skyscraper restaurant high above the city. He slams a shot of tequila, goes over to the window, and jumps out.
The guy sitting next to him can’t believe what he just saw. He’s more surprised when, 10 minutes later, the same guy walks back into the bar and sits down next to him.
The astonished onlooker asks, “How did you do that? I just saw you jump out the window, and we’re hundreds of feet above the ground!”
The jumper responds by slurring, “Well, I don’t get it either. I slam a shot of tequila, and when I jump out the window, the tequila makes me slow down right before I hit the ground. Watch.” He takes a shot, goes to the window, and jumps out.
The other guy runs to the window and watches as the guy falls to just above the sidewalk, slows down, and lands softly on his feet. A few minutes later, the jumper walks back into the bar.
The other guy has to try it, too, so he orders a shot of tequila. He slams it and jumps out the window. As he reaches the bottom, he doesn’t slow down at all. SPLAT!
The first guy orders another shot of tequila. The bartender shakes his head. “You’re really an a**hole when you’re drunk, Superman.” I know.
Three strangers have opened a gay chat; but if one left the chat, the chat would be closed.
Stranger 3: How to turn a straight guy into a gay guy?
Stranger 1: You can't!
Stranger 2: You can.
Stranger 3: How?
Stranger 2: By using the same idea of the Russian experiment; like in a detention, put him in a closed room full of gay stuff, but the difference is that he can sleep, and he will have food for 30 days and a toilet, too.
Stranger 3: Great idea, but who can we try first?
Stranger 1: You all gays are evil monsters.
Stranger 2: I think the stranger 1 is just a straight spy. Let's try this experi-
(The chat has been closed by stranger 1)
I would tell you the pun about the broken pencil, but it has no point to it.
A short person should never piss off a fat person taller than them. The fat person just has to lean slightly, and it's 9/11 all over again.
What has 10 wheels and flies? A garbage truck.
Jason Kenney has never worried about putting food on the table for his kids.
"Knuckle babies" don't eat.
Read this and you're gay.
Depression has been entered into your body.
How many orphans does it take to "test drive" a bus? It depends on how much space the orphanage has and how much space the cemetery has.
There was a woman. She is property. Ha, sucks for that dishwasher.
There was a deaf man. He was deaf. Ha, sucks for him! (sans undertale)
There was a blind man. He was blind. Ha, sucks for him.
Doctor, can I please have a new butt? My old one has a hole and a crack in it.
What's wrong with my friend?
He's called Dobby Coleman and has a massive jaw.
How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb?
It only takes one, but it takes a long time, and the light bulb has to want to change.
What's thick, long, hard, and has cum in it?
Cucumber. Lol. I love the way you think.
How can you tell if you have a high sperm count?
When your girlfriend has to chew before she swallows.
Uranus has 27 moons.
Fuck, my dad has cancer, lol.
How does an American know that his time has come?
He starts hearing Vietnamese.