What’s the difference between me and a bakery shop? The bakery shop has cake! 😞🎂
What is your favourite name? Amy has
What has a dog 🐶? People
I have a nun joke! It is nun-ya business!!! Ha!!! Ha!!! Ha!!! Ha!!! 😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣
Who works at IHOP? A girl with one leg.
P1: Why did the chicken cross the road?
P2: To get to the other side DUH?!?
P1: No dumbass, it's to get run over because he has depression, a chronic illness, and his father left him for a good for nothing pimp that doesn’t even give a shit about how he feels. (Kinda like me).
P2: Holy shit are u ok? *Some random eavesdropping fucker dials 911 in a hurry*
Why do people always tell actors to break a leg
Because every play has a cast
What has legs but can't walk
A veteran
What has tree roots and what do I have for kids? What is the difference between a human and a used tire?
Tree roots are under the tree, and used tires are under the Hummer.
What has it?
What has a magic car 🚙? A magic dog 🐶
What has no legs 🦵 and a human body? A human with no legs 🦵
What has 4 wheels and can fly? A garbage truck.
Why doesn’t the sun ☀️ go to college?
Because it has a million degrees.
What’s pink, black and has 17 nipples?
A trash can behind the cancer ward.
What has two tires and no engine? A magic house 🏡
Have u ever stepped in Stephen hawking's house.
Neither has he.😂😂
My cat sleeps about 20 hours a day. She has her food prepared for her. She can eat whenever she wants, 24/7/365. Her meals are provided at no cost to her. She visits the doctor once a year for her checkup, and again during the year if any medical needs arise. For this she pays nothing, and nothing is required of her.
She lives in a nice neighborhood in a house that is much larger than she needs, but she is not required to do any upkeep. If she makes a mess, someone else cleans it up. She has her choice of luxurious places to sleep. She receives these accommodations absolutely free. She is living like a queen, and has absolutely no expenses whatsoever. All of her costs are picked up by others who go out and earn a living every day.
I was just thinking about all this, and suddenly it hit me like a brick in the head, Holy Sh*t, my cat is a Democrat!
What has two names and one big home?
A person.
A mom and her two children were eating at a place while playing trivia when she asked what does AIDS stand for? Her son Dallyn has no idea, but her daughter Emberlee, who has always been a little odd, says, "An Intentional Disease." Her brother and mom just stared!
What has two left legs 🦵 but can’t walk? An airport
