HA jokes
A mom and her two children were eating at a place while playing trivia when she asked what does AIDS stand for? Her son Dallyn has no idea, but her daughter Emberlee, who has always been a little odd, says, "An Intentional Disease." Her brother and mom just stared!
What has two left legs 🦵 but can’t walk? An airport.
Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl in the bathroom?
Because it has a silent “p.”
What has 8 legs and 2 ears? A dog.
What has two legs but can’t walk? Pants 👖
British MP Sally Ann Hart has filed for divorce citing sexual unfulfillment.
Her husband couldn't fuck her the way her stupidity could.
What has four legs and one arm?
A rottweiler at a park.
A hillbilly female has to decide if she would save her brother or her boyfriend. She chose both because her brother is her boyfriend.
What's the difference between a battery and my wife? The battery has a positive side.
Have you ever walked past Steven Hawking's house?
No, neither has he.
Waiter says, "Sir, we ran out of ranch, so I had the boys in the back improvise. But don't worry... It has even more zip & twang to it!"
I have a pussy. It's very hairy. It has a long thing sticking out of it. It's also very hair. My hairy pussy meows and purrs.
What's the difference between a water bottle and Africa?
One has water; the other one doesn’t.
Teacher: Who here has thought about committing suicide?
Half of the class: *raises hand*
Teacher: ...
The half of the class: *Starts talking about how they were thinking of doing it*
What do you call a cup with a handle?
A mug! HAHA ha... My parents just got a divorce :(
My friend has a dog who looks like cocoa. Her name is Cocoa!
What month has 28 days?
All of them.
Jeffy: I need a new butt. My old one has a crack in it.
Blonde: Can I suck you off? (has STDs on mouth)
Me: Naw (drake turn/dab)
I have OCD and ADD, so everything has to be perfect... but not for very long.