Goddess jokes

Replace the v in Venus with a p.

Jake grabbed Lina's thigh and said, "Why don't we have sex? I really wanna see your boobs. I bet they're hot." "Yeah, they are." She took her clothes off and he saw her body. "OMG GODDESS OF BOOBS, PUSSYS AND BUTT LETS HAVE SEX LOOK AT MY..." HE WOKE UP THEN CRIED AND KISSED HIS SISTER'S BUTT. SHE SMACKED HIM THEN HE TOOK HER TO HIS BASEMENT AND KILLED HER FROM SEX.

My girlfriend treats me like God. -- She ignores my existence and only talks to me when she needs something.

You can tell a lot about a woman's mood just by her hands. For example, if she's holding a gun, she's probably angry.

Why did God invent yeast infections? So women would know what it's like to live with an irritating cunt too.

Women treat me like a god.

They ignore me till they need something.

In my mother's generation, they grew up with Wonder Woman. In ours, we have to wonder if she's a woman.