Girl friend jokes

My new girlfriend is a porn star. She would probably kill me if she found out.

My girlfriend just broke up with me because I held a door for another girl. She said I was cheating, but the girl I helped was in a wheelchair.

Me and my girlfriend broke up, so I took her wheelchair, and she came crawling back.

One day I was on my phone, then I got a text message from my girlfriend, "Hey, sexy boy, wanna hang out tonight if you know what I mean...?" Then I just stopped and froze. I read the message. I said, "Yeah, sure..." She replied really fast, "There's going to be a few people there, ok." But I didn't read the next message... She said, "Come right at 12:00 AM." But I didn't read it. I walked into her house, but I heard a strange noise like a moaning noise, and it sounded like HER!! So I hid behind the couch, and I looked through the open door and saw something I didn't want to see... Like for part 2 and comment if you want me to make another!!

When your girlfriend says it is too small, you say, "Just enjoy the small thing."

There were two twin brothers, Lucas and Marcus. Marcus got a girlfriend while Lucas stayed single.

A few weeks later, Lucas was caught kissing Marcus's girlfriend, and Marcus comes over and says: "Babe, I know we're twins, but I'm Marcus, and that's Lucas you were kissing." And his girlfriend looks at him and says: "I know."

My girlfriend is like Toys R Us.

She does not exist.

I have fuck and sex with all the sexy naked ladies and they suck my balls (penis), but you ain't have no girlfriend. Your only friend, they call him ching chong coz of your hairline.

I broke up with my ex girlfriend. Here's her number.

Sike, that's the wrong number!

ooooooooooooooooooooo

I once had a trash can as a girlfriend.

I was ready to break up with her, but all she had to say was, "Please don't dump me!" Then I said, "Sorry, I'm ready to take out the trash."

My girlfriend keeps calling me a pedophile. That's a big word for a seven year old.

My girlfriend treats me like God. -- She ignores my existence and only talks to me when she needs something.

Most states:

"It's ok, it won't be awkward. We're still friends."

Alabama:

"She didn't wanna be my girlfriend anymore. But she said she'll still be my sister."

My girlfriend is a porn star. -- She will kill me if she finds out.