Gets picked jokes
What is the same thing between apples and orphans?
Apples actually get picked.
As I’m lying down on the table for a radiation treatment, a small angel lands on one shoulder, a tiny devil on the other shoulder. And then the mind game begins:
Angel: This won’t last long. You are perfectly lined up. The treatment only lasts a few mins. Remember, stay absolutely still.
Devil: Did she just twitch?
Angel: No. She didn’t twitch.
Devil: I think I saw her finger twitch.
Angel: Well, even if it did, it’s her thigh the techs are aiming at.
Devil: She wants to scratch her face.
Angel: Stop it! She can handle staying still a few minutes.
Devil: But her cheek has an itchy spot.
Angel: She can just let it itch. She doesn’t need to scratch every itch. She will just have to think about something else.
Devil: Wow...that cheek is really itchy...
Angel: Think about: Flowers. Acrylic painting. Did the trash get picked up this morning? Her grandson Oliver’s smile...
Devil: How about a song?
Angel: Good idea!
Devil: How about... “Never going to give you up. Never going to let you down....”🎶
Angel: OMG! You just Rick-rolled her! She’s in the middle of a treatment! You know that’s the only part she knows!
Devil: That’s okay. She’ll just repeat the words she knows over and over and over and....
Angel: Don’t be so mean!
Devil: “Never going to give you up...🎶”
Angel: Stop it!
Devil: Her toe! Her big toe! Did you see that? She just twitched it!
Angel: No, she didn’t.
Devil: I bet it screwed up the test and they have to start over....
Angel: She didn’t screw anything up!
Devil: She totally screwed the test up and they were more than halfway done. If they start over at the beginning, she will get too much radiation, and they will end up slicing her whole leg off!
Angel: That’s not how it works...
Devil: Or they just stop all together and she only gets a partial treatment and her tumor won’t get enough radiation.
Angel: They know what they are doing!
Devil: ...And it won’t shrink the tumor and the whole thing fails. And the doctor will have to amputate her leg.
Angel: No! No! No! That’s not how any of this...
Devil: ...And when they amputate, it will be at the hip and not below the knee because the tumor is in her thigh.
Angel: Stop this right now!!
Devil: “Never going to give you up....🎶”
Angel: Stop!
Devil: “...never going let you down....🎶”
Angel: I’m not going to let you...
Devil: “Never going to give you up...🎶”
Techs: Okay. That’s it, Tammi! We are finished! How are you doing?
Tammi: ...Oh, I’m fine.....
Community
YALL i woke up like an hour late just to rmeberd im getting picked up 2 hours ealir than normal
This goes for pretty much everyone, but especially Hailey since she seems to get picked on the most. Don’t listen to all these retards who try to insult your looks. They’re either fat discord-mod neckbeards who haven’t touched grass for 8 years or ugly loners who try to make themselves feel better by attempting to break people down to their level. They’re just idiot trolls who hide behind the “anonymous” cover because they’re too afraid to show themselves to the world. To all of you jerks who think this is a good idea, how about instead of wasting time screwing with other people you go worry about fixing your lives, because I’m telling you, this is NOT the way.
Have you ever felt so invisible? Like no one would know If you died tonight, if you threw this fight And finally let it go The weight of holding on, so sick of being strong Just to end up alone Or am I the only one still up Wondering why who I am has never been enough? 'Cause I've never known What it's like to just feel wanted, wanted Like a ghost Always end up here forgotten, forgotten The question always haunting m… Read more