Picked out jokes

An Irishman, Englishman, and Scotsman go into a pub and each order a pint of Guinness.

Just as the bartender hands them over, three flies buzz down and one lands in each of the pints.

The Englishman looks disgusted, pushes his pint away, and demands another pint.

The Scotsman picks out the fly, shrugs, and takes a long swallow.

The Irishman reaches into the glass, pinches the fly between his fingers, and shakes him while yelling, "Spit it out, ya bastard! Spit it out!"

I first saw her in the Walmart picking out your drawers.

A buddy and I checked out some books from a local library. When we returned them, he said, "Your sister works the returns, right?" I told him, "Yes, she does, and she will be here in about five minutes." He said, "Why don’t we put a cookbook in the women’s sports section?" I told him, "I love it!" So I picked out a Reese Witherspoon book.

What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?

Well, at least one gets picked.

What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?

An apple gets picked.

What's the difference between orphans and cotton?

Cotton gets picked.

What's the difference between an orphan and an apple? An apple gets picked.

What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?

One gets picked.... (not the orphan)