Get off jokes

I will never forget my girlfriend's last words... "Get off of me! STOP!" *slurp*... Dead.

Bippity boppity, get the f*ck off my property.

Three blonde girls are on an island, and they are much too far away from land to swim. They find a genie on the island who offers them each one wish. The first girl says, "I wish I was smart enough to get off this island!" So the genie makes her a redheaded girl, she cuts down a tree, makes it into a boat, and proceeds to row off the island.

The next girl says, "I wish I was even smarter than her so I don't have to do so much manual labor!" So she turns into a brunette and makes a sailboat and lets the wind take her off the island.

The final girl says, "I wish I was smarter than both of them!" So she turns into a man and takes the bridge.

What did the cholo say when the house fell on him?

"Get off me, homes!"

What did the Mexican man say when his house fell on him?

"Get off me homes."

When a man sleeps with a lot of women, he's called a stud. When a woman sleeps with a lot of men, she's called your mum.