Did you hear the race of the tomato and lettuce? Well the lettuce was winning and the tomato was trying to ketchup.
What do bananas wear into battle?
Banana-rama!
Yo' mama is so ugly, she makes onions cry.
What are the best kind of fruit for twins? Pears 🍐
There once were 3 men on an airplane and one bit into an apple and said, "This is disgusting!" and threw it out the window. The 2nd man bit into a banana and said, "This is rotten!" and he threw it out the window. The 3rd man bit into a bomb and screamed, "ALL MY TEETH FELL OUT!" and he threw it out the window.
Meanwhile, on the ground, a police officer was walking and he saw a kid crying and he went up to him and asked him why he was crying. He replied, "An apple came flying out of the sky and hit me on the head!" The police officer said, "That is weird," and kept on walking. Then he saw another kid crying and the police officer asked, "Why are you crying?" and he answered, "A banana came flying out of the sky and hit me on the head!" The officer said, "This has been a strange day." Then he sees a kid laughing and he asked why he was laughing and he said, while he was laughing, "My dad farted and the house blew up!"
I caught my sister licking up and down and deep throating a banana. I said, "Why are you doing that for?" She replied, "I'm doing it for practice for your friends."
Okay, so I ate an apple and it tasted good.
Why do cantaloupes always get married in the church?
'Cause they can't elope.
What's the difference between apples and orphans? Apples actually get picked.
I made a website for orphans, but sadly it didn't have a home page.
During the holidays in the fruit bowl, the orange walked up to the banana and said, "Berry Christmas!"
What is the difference between a baby and a watermelon?
One is a refreshing summertime snack; the other one is a watermelon.
When do you go on red and stop at green?
A watermelon.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Banana.
Banana who?
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Banana.
Banana who?
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Orange.
Orange who?
Orange you glad I did not say banana? Ha ha!
If I were to not eat the last biscuit, I would feel "crumby."
Din mor ligner en banan. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
What does a baby banana call her mum? Na na, get it? Instead of ma ma.
I will tell you a story. There was a fruit named Pear who was named Dyck. He one day met his friend Carrot, who was later killed after being stuck into some girl's vagina.
Pear then became very sadistic and no one loved him, and he became mentally fruit-pressed. One day he met a Banana named Harvey Weinstein, and they got married and had children who were all named Minion. Eventually, the rest of his family died, and Pear was left slowly rotting away. His last words were, "I have finally 'peared' the consequences of all my actions."
Fruit is like life. You slowly eat it away as it slowly also begins to rot like everyone I’ve known.
It turns out a major new study recently found that humans eat more bananas than monkeys.
It’s true. I can’t remember the last time I ate a monkey.
So, is a homosexual in a coma a fruit or a vegetable?
