Fruit jokes
My friend nearly drowned in her bowl of muesli the other day. She was pulled in by a strong "currant."
What fruit is square and green? A lemon in disguise.
Why were the apple and orange all alone? Because the banana "split."
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Banana.
Banana who?
Orange.
Orange who?
Orange you glad I didn't say banana again?
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
Apples are picked.
what kind of shoes are made of banana peels? slippers.
How do you fix a cracked pumpkin? With a pumpkin patch!
What’s the difference between an apple and a depressed kid? The apple falls from the tree.
What do you get when you mix a lemon and a cat?
A sourpuss.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.
How do you make an apple turnover?
You push it down a hill.
What happens to grapes when you step on them? They wine.
Why did the orange stop? Because it ran out of juice.
Orange: Hey Apple, Apple, hey Apple.
Apple: What?
Orange: Orange you glad I didn't say "Apple" again? Hahaha!
Orange: Hey.
Pear: Hey.
Orange: No hay!
Me: Hey, apple.
Apple: What?
Me: Knife.
Apple: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
Ok, I put one penny down. Do you smell anything?
1 scent.
I put two pennies down. Do you see any fruit?
2 pears.
I put three pennies down. Do you see any law enforcement?
3 coppers.
I put four pennies down. Do you see any cars?
4 Lincolns.
I put five pennies down. Do you see any pussies?
NOT FOR 5 CENTS YOU DONT!
What did the big tree say to the little one? Grow a pear!