New Far - Page 5 - Worst Jokes Ever

Your hairline so far back I use it as a ruler to measure things

Yo hair line is so far back that it was there before the big bang happened.

So do you guys know those waterslides that you stand in, and then they suddenly drop you straight down onto the water slide? If not, look them up on YouTube, there's nothing like them.

Ah yes, the sweet memories of my first time on one of these. I feel that my mental/emotional scars have healed enough to tell this gem.

At the time my girlfriend, now Fiancée, worked as a photographer for one of those resorts with the indoor and outdoor water parks. One of her perks was that her and a family member/friend could get into the waterpark for free, so one hot summer day she had off and we both decided it'd be fun to go there and cool down for the day.

While we were there, I discovered one of there most "Thrilling" looking waterslides. Basically you stand in this tube, and then the slide operator presses a button and this slide drops you straight down a good 90 FEET, before you actually start going down the water slide. Me, being a thrill seeker, of course had to try it. So I made the great climb up to the top of the slide, stood in line, and finally it was my turn. Once I got in the tube, the operator told me to keep my legs crossed. Now I'm a pretty big heavy guy, so I was like "That's uncomfortable as fuck, I'm not doing that". So there I was standing in the tube, having a panic attack from anticipation, with my legs not crossed. The operator finally presses the button, the bottom opens and I fall straight down the water slide. Very quickly I realized why they have you cross your legs. Water shot so far up my ass, so fast, I swear I tasted it in my mouth. My body raced down that slide, as I questioned every life choice that I have ever made.

Once I made it to the bottom, I sat there for a moment, absolutely violated. I felt like someone in an episode of Law & Order: Special Victims Unit. I built up the courage to finally stand up, and all I could feel was the nice warm stream of water mixed with shit, and maybe a little bit of blood shoot out of my ass faster than the Steamboat Geyser at Yellowstone National Park. I quickly got off the slide and ran to the bathroom, with a trail of shitty water tailing me as the slide operator stared in awe. They had to shut down the slide for the rest of the day :'), but man was my asshole clean after that!

Moral of the story: Keep your damn legs crossed on waterslides.

Same thing goes when you are at bible study with a handsy priest.

Your hairline is so far back trump was ashamed

Your hairline so far back my grandpa said he had a glimpse of it in the 1960s

Your hairline is so far back, it left before your dad.

your hairline is that far back that i cant even back out of my car

Your hairline looks like the stairway to hell Bent and far back

your eyebrows and hairline is so far apart that when Dora the explorer went found your hairline and was trying to find your eyebrows the map couldn't even tell her.

Your hairline is so far back that I didn’t know you had a hairline.

tj so far back you still couldn't find it when the deval was alive

Your Hairline is so far away that Jesus could've see when he was on the cross

Tj hair line so far back ho friends don't even want to talk to him

tj hairline is so far back,,if you travel back time you still won't find it

Tj's hairline is so far back, Blue's Clues can't find it.

Your hairline is so far back, Paw Patrol couldn't finish their mission.

Little Johnny is always being teased by the other neighborhood boys for being stupid. Their favorite joke is to offer Johnny his choice between a nickel and a dime Little Johnny always takes the nickel. One day, after Johnny takes the nickel, a neighbor takes him aside and says, “Johnny, those boys are making fun of you. Don’t you know that a dime is worth more than a nickel, even though the nickel’s bigger?” Johnny grins and says, “Well, if I took the dime, they’d stop doing it, and so far I’ve made $20!”