Extreme jokes
What is brown and extremely sticky?
A stick.
What do you call a bear with extreme mood swings? -- A bi-polar-bear.
If I measured your forehead, it would be 100,000,000,000,000,000 miles long.
You're so poor, you lick postcards for food.
Madden Whiffen, a curious soul, With an appetite beyond control, A bottomless pit, never satisfied, Ingesting all that's placed beside.
From dawn till dusk, he feasts his way, Devouring meals without delay, With gusto he consumes, without restrain, Every morsel, every crumb, he'll obtain.
No dish too large, no portion too small, His hunger insatiable, devouring it all, From succulent meats to delicate greens, He relishes the flavors, savoring each scene.
A culinary adventure, forever he embarks, Sampling cuisines from all walks and arcs, From street food to gourmet, he seeks it all, His palate an explorer, on a constant sprawl.
He savors the spices, the textures, the taste, In a gastronomic journey, no time to waste, For Madden Whiffen, the food is his muse, A symphony of flavors, he'll never refuse.
But caution, dear friends, in this feeding spree, For gluttony can lead to a troublesome plea, Madden Whiffen, beware the consequences, For overindulgence brings no recompenses.
In the realm of cuisine, he reigns supreme, A legend of eating, a man of extreme, Madden Whiffen, the one who eats it all, In his gastronomic pursuit, he stands tall.
So let us marvel at his voracious might, As he devours dishes, day and night, For in Madden Whiffen, we witness the feat, A man who eats everything, a culinary elite.
A toaster and a slice of whole wheat bread sit together in the sauna.
After five minutes, the bread starts to sweat extremely and says: "Oh, I think I'm going to be a toast in here!"
The toaster just looks at it bored from the side and replies: "Don't get upset. I'm just here to really switch off."
I AM FUCKING HAPPY AS HELL.
What is the best revenge for getting punished at school?
Go shoot up the school.
You're so poor. You're just PO, you can't even afford the other O and R.
You're so skinny that your mom had to use a whole shampoo bottle on your head, but she still couldn’t find you.
You're so emo, the sun turned black.
Yo mama so poor, the homeless donate to her.
You're so poor that when you drink water from a cup, people flick a coin into it.
Your forehead is so big that it made Mona Lisa smile.
If mom saw you, she would die and be happy because of you being ugly.
You're so boring that you make war veterans die quicker, and yet they're still on life support.
Mama is so Catholic, Swiss cheese wishes it was as holy as she is. Do you...
What do you call an elite bungee jumper? An emo kid.
You are so intelligent that parents come running to beg you to be their child!
You're so poor, when a robber robs your house, they feel bad for you and just leave.