Bro, living is so expensive, and I'm not even having fun doing it or getting my money's worth.
Welcome to the roadkill cafe, where yesterday's crash is today's cash.
Me: Y’all should start calling me 1943.
Friend: Why?
Me: 'Cause I’m going through my own Great Depression.
Where do you buy cows in bulk?
At the stock market.
I can get my grandma 50% off from her groceries by just scanning my wrist.
Why doesn't Iran have any Walmarts?
Because they have a Target at every corner.
Who knows? Maybe the end of the world will be made in China too.
Your mom is so fat that if she sits on top of a gas station, she will lower the prices.
Why did Hitler kill himself? He saw the gas bill.
What's the difference between economy and Vietnamese?
Economy doesn't work.
China.
I am sure this was the type of economy Judas Iscariot was in when he betrayed Jesus.
I'm so poor that they let me buy the entire store! For $0...
Asians don't believe in Santa because they make the toys.
Dude, if you're at the ATM, wouldn't that mean you're buying your own money?
Your hairline be looking like the Great Recession.
Where did the pirate pay his taxes?
Aye, Argh, Sea.
What is the difference between a Lamborghini and a dead body?
I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.
You are so poor, when I pass you, you ask for spare change, and I was poor, too.
What do you call a doctor in Panera Bread?
Panera Med.
