Drop jokes
At school, Little Johnny’s classmate tells him that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, so it’s very easy to blackmail them by saying, “I know the whole truth.” Little Johnny decides to go home and try it out.
Johnny’s mother greets him at home, and he tells her, “I know the whole truth.” His mother quickly hands him $20 and says, “Just don’t tell your father.” Quite pleased, the boy waits for his father to get home from work, and greets him with, “I know the whole truth.” The father promptly hands him $40 and says, “Please don’t say a word to your mother.”
Very pleased, the boy is on his way to school the next day when he sees the mailman at his front door. The boy greets him by saying, “I know the whole truth.” The mailman immediately drops the mail, opens his arms, and says, “Then come give your Daddy a great big hug!”
Why is Ronan's forehead the size of Jupiter? Because he dropped the TV on his forehead. It also had rings.
Why is Jupiter's ring stuck in orbit? Because Ronan's forehead kept it stuck in orbit.
Snails are like sperm, slow and sloppy.
What's the difference between a baby and garlic bread? I feel bad when I drop garlic bread.
Things you never want to do in jail:
- Never piss off an inmate. - Don’t start fights with the cops. - Don’t drop the soap. - Don’t run away from the cops.
What is a terrorist's DJ name?
Osama Spin Laden.
Dropping beats like the Twin Towers.
When your uncle drops a nickel, but the only thing he really drops is his pants.
You're the bus driver. The bus driver picks up twenty kids, drops two, picks up eighty. Drops seven, picks up a woman with green eyes, drops off a man with blue, kicks a kid in the face, and buried his mother.
Who's the bus driver?
You will never nose [know].
A man lost his toe when he dropped a knife on it.
Doctor: "I have good news and bad news."
Guy: "What's the bad news?"
Doc: "They replaced your toe with a piece of candy."
Guy: "Good news?"
Doc: "You now have tic tac toe."
Why did the boy drop his ice cream?
He got hit by a bus.
A man walking on his roof, carrying an axe. He drops it on someone below him and says, "Sorry, it was an axe-cident!"
How did the USA beat Japan in rapping?
By dropping two of the biggest roasts.
Why did Joey drop his ice cream?
He was hit by a truck. (Don't worry, the truck was fine.)
Pedophile: You dropped your candy.
Girl: Thanks!
Pedophile stares as she slowly bends over to pick up her candy.
Pedophile: It looks a bit dirty, do you wanna come back to my house and get a new one?
Girl: How far is your house?
Pedophile: It's that white one right over there.
Girl: You mean that van next to a dumpster?
Pedophile: Yep, it's that one.
Girl:.... Sure! :P
Audience:.........Dumbass girl.
What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?
A flat major.
Why did Billy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.
Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.
What’s the worst part about breaking up with a Japanese person
You have to drop the bomb twice before they get the message
Why did Sally drop her ice cream cone?
Because she got hit by a bus.
Did you hear how Stephen Hawking died?
There was a mix up, and he was dropped at PC World instead of A&E!
How do Asians name their kids? They drop spoons and forks down the stairs. Chin Chan Chon.