Why do the French eat snails?
They don't like fast food.
What do women, tornadoes, and hurricanes have in common? They all get the house.
What do a Christmas tree and a priest have in common? - Their balls are just for decoration.
He: "Do you smoke after sex?"
She: "I don't know. I've never looked."
Why do they never serve beer at a math party?
Because you can't drink and derive.
Why do Java Programmers wear glasses? Because they don't C#.
Why do programmers always mix up Halloween and Christmas?
Because Oct 31 == Dec 25.
How do you tell if a loaf of bread has Down Syndrome?
It has an extra crumb-osome.
How do you really piss off your girlfriend while having sex?
Call her on the phone.
What do you call someone with Down Syndrome who smokes weed?
A baked potato.
How do you tell when your wife is dead?
The sex is the same, but the dishes pile up.
Why do midgets laugh when they run?
Because the grass tickles their balls.
What do you call a Jamaican proctologist?
Pokémon!
How do you make an octopus laugh?
You give it ten tickles.
Where do kittens go on a field trip?
The meowseum.
What would Batman do if he wasn't rich?
He would be robin.
What do classical musicians do when they die?
They decompose.
What do you call a communist pirate ship?
The USS Arrrrr.
What does the cannibal do after he dumps his girlfriend?
He wipes his butt.
Moms have Mother's Day and dads have Father's Day. What do single guys have?
Palm Sunday.
