DoS jokes
A boy breaks a vase, and his mom says it's ok, honey, mistakes happen. How do you think you were born?
What do you call a homeless orphan?
Homo-less.
What does a husband of a woman do when he is horny?
He goes on a business trip with 100 $1 dollar bills.
What do you call a baby with red curry fried hair?
A baby using a potato peeler and a comb.
what do you call a bunch of retarded kids in a hot tub?
steamed vegetables.
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
Fsh.
What do you call a dabbing cow?
Udder savagery.
What do you call a bunch of retarded kids in a swimming pool?
Vegetable soup.
How do you make a plumber cry?
Kill his whole family.
Stage 4 cancer is like a woman. You can’t beat it, but if you do, she’ll probably come back again.
What do you call those dead pieces of green stuff left in the bottom of a bowl of Caesar salad?
The last romaines. Now lettuce pray for them.
If you're ever bored, kick an orphan. What are they going to do, tell their parents?
Q: How do you know a wishing well works?
A: If your mother-in-law falls down it.
What do you get when you cross a Muslim in a trench coat and a duffel bag?
A sad news story.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
It doesn't f***ing matter, it's still not f***ing coming.
What do suicidal people do in their spare time?
Hang out.
You're do annoying like your fucked up hairline.
I was at a funeral for some kids in a school shooting. I don't understand why everyone was so sad, so I asked a lady, "what's so sad?" and she said "What do you think was running through these kid's heads before they died?" I replied "probably a bullet". She gasped and said "do you have any idea how insensitive that is? What do you think is running through their parent's heads?" I said "probably all the money they're losing from this funeral."
Roses are red, I like weed,
If you say yes then I'll do a "good deed."
What do you call a sex offender attending church? A priest.