DoS jokes
The other day at school we had to write down our hero and what we would do if they walked into our house. I got off easy because my hero is Stephen Hawking.
What do you call a girl skeleton dancing?
A bone-étit.
Do you think the founder of Dunlop was a retired tree surgeon or a hairdresser?
I work with animals!
What do you do?
I’m a butcher.
What do you call people who go to space? Icetronauts lolololol hahahahah.
I’m giving in my two week resignation to life... it’s not you ... it’s me!!!
What do cows use to do their homework? A cowculator.
What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter what you call him, he's not coming.
What do you call the people in the Challenger explosion?
Ashtraynauts.
What do Catholic priests and JCPenny's have in common?
Little boys' pants half off.
Where do you take Stephen Hawking when he dies?
The Apple repair store.
What's so special about bullets?
They do work after they are fired.
How do you fit three flags on a bar stool?
Flip it over!
How do you get 50 babies into a car?
You blend them.
Why do orphans always get picked on?
They can't run and tell their parents.
Boy goes to Confession.
Boy: "What are you doing, father?"
Priest: "It's called masturbation and soon you will be doing it."
Boy: "Why do you say that, father?"
Priest: "'Cause my hand is getting tired."
Kid: How much do you get paid?
Teacher: Minimum wage.
What do you call a nine year old with no friends?
A Sandy Hook survivor.
Why does Beethoven's music sound like hell sometimes?
Because he doesn't listen to it!
What do you call a short student?
A Ravin.