How do you throw a space party?
You planet 🤣🤣🤣
Why do people want emo grass? Because it'll cut itself.
Why do people name a kid "Rob?" Because they want him to rob a bank so they could adopt new kids to lock in their basement for a late-night toy.
What do you call a Native American with a boner?
A redwood.
why do orphans have phones? because they don't know how to call home
Kate: Can we have a threesome?
Trevor: Sure.
The lights go off and Trevor starts doing what he's supposed to be doing, and then he feels something going up his back end. He goes to punch the person behind him, but then he turns on the light, and it was Kate behind him, and he's been fucking the guy the whole time.
How do you scare a bee?
Boo-bee!
If your best friend tells you that he's gay for you, what do you do? Tell him, "Oh, nice gay ass."
What cereal do I eat?
Captain Bolts.
How do make an adult cry?
Stab him 10000 times until the floors are red with human blood.
What do cigarettes and hamsters have in common?
They can both be dangerous when you stick them in your mouth and light them on fire.
What do you call it when an orphan takes a family photo? A selfie.
What do you do when an orphan takes a family photo?
A selfie.
What do you call an orphan taking a family photo?
A selfie.
Three scientists are doing an experiment. They are trying to find out what happens when you stick a cork in an elephant's ass.
In the lab, they each look at each other and decide that they should hire a monkey to do it. The monkey sticks the cork up the elephant's ass, and the scientists wait three weeks.
The monkey pulls out the cork, and all three scientists go back and discuss what they saw.
The first one, standing one mile away, says all he could see was a wave of brown, then it all went black. The second, standing two miles away, said the same. The third, who was standing three miles away, said all he could see was the other two get consumed by a massive cloud of brown.
How do you get ten babies in a bowl?
A blender.
How do you get them out?
Doritos.
One day, I saw a kid beating up a fat kid. But a cop came out of nowhere and threw the bully off him. The cop then asked the bully, "Why are you beating him up?" I responded, saying, "I'm fighting obesity; no children should suffer from diabetes and heart disease." Then, the cop pulled out a gun and fired, afterwards saying, "Well, how did I do?"
What did the icicle say to the snow?
"Why do you have to be so soft?"
When deaf people see someone yawning, do they think they're screaming?
What do you call a dog wearing a beret?
Smeargle!
