If you wanna hit somebody, hit an orphan, what are they gonna do... tell their parents?
What do you call a man with no body and no nose?
Nobody knows.
A thief walks up to a man in a suit and pulls out a gun. The thief says: "Give me your money." The man in the suit turns around surprised. He raises his hands and says: "But, wait! You can't do that, I am a Congressman!" The thief replies: "Oh, sorry. Give me MY money."
What do we call a Canadian gay ~disciplined cunt
What do we call a gay Canadian? Sophisticated cunt
How do you paint a wall red?
You shoot a baby with a .50 cal.
Q: What do you call a tsunami?
A: Your mom's water breaking.
What do Communism, Socialism, Feminism, and Fascism all have in common?
They are all disabilities.
Today, my mom gave me a lecture on how to stay safe during school shootings. When my brother walked past, my mom asked me a question: "What do you think of going through kids' heads during a school shooting?" That's when my brother came back downstairs and said to me and my mom, "Bullets." We don't talk about this anymore.
What do you call nuts on your chest? Chestnuts.
What do you call nuts on the wall? Walnuts.
What do you call nuts on your chin? A blowjob.
A boy walks into some woods with a phone, and his friend comes by and asks, "What are you doing?"
He pauses, then says, "Trying some bird calls!"
Three guys walk into a room where a man is sitting with an assortment of foods on his plate because it's lunchtime. The guys ask the man to do a favor, and he says, "Sorry guys, I have a lot on my plate!"
Why do Indian men marry fat women?
How do Asian people name their children?
They throw a pan down the stairs.
What would your name be? Msg it to @chelsearosegraham.
Dang, it got ketchup on my sleeve. What do I do?
Spread the love!
What do you call a fish with no legs?
Fsh have no legs.
What do you do with legs?
Fsh have no legs.
What do you do with legs?
Break!
Just walked in on my parents doing it! Worst 30 minutes of my life.
What do you call a creepy flower? A Pedel-File!
I have a ton of work to do... A skeleTON
I did phone sex, but I'll never do it again because last time my penis got stuck in the charging cord.
