What do you say when you see a pig making bread?
He's bacon.
A kid came from school. His mother said, "What did you do in school?" The boy replied, "I had sex with my teacher." She said, "OH MY GOD, GO TO YOUR ROOM, WAIT UNTIL YOUR DAD COMES!" He waited, then his dad walked in and said, "Your mother told me what you did. I'm proud of you, son. Let's go buy you a bicycle." When they arrived to the store, the dad said, "Try out and see which seat is the comfortable." The boy said, "I can't, my butt is sore." Dad said, "Why is your butt sore?" The Boy said, "Because I had sex with my teacher."
Who's a pineapple? I'm a pineapple... Yass.
Teacher and kid.
Kid: Hey, teacher.
Teacher: Yes?
Kid: Would you punish me for something I didn't do?
Teacher: Of course not.
Kid: Well, I didn't do my homework!
Q: What do you call an elephant that isn't important?
A: My sister.
What do you get from pampered cows?
Spoiled milk.
Why does Stephen Hawking do one liners?
Because he can't do standup
What do you call a Mongolian swindler?
A Khan artist.
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?
Lick-alot-a-puss.
What do you call an empty police station?
Banana Chicken.
How do you die from Alzheimer's? You forget how to breathe.
You’re so lame, you don’t have a superpower!
"Yah, I do!"
Oh yeah? What is it?
"My diaphragm contracts and moves downwards into my chest cavity and my lungs expand!"
That’s breathing, Jim.
"NO IT’S NOT, JACOB, YOU CAN’T PROVE IT!"
What do you say when a Spanish person loses a car?
Carlos.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Owl say.
Owl say who?
Yes, they do.
My wife and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children.
If anybody does, please just send me your contact details, and we can drop them off tomorrow.
What do you call a PEIS?
When Lexa took Clarke out on a date, she walked past the candle shop, and she bought all the candles. After the date, they went back to the Heda's (Commander's) Tower, which is basically a huge candle. "All I wanna do is Candle you!"
What do u call a lesbian dinosaur
Lickalotopuss
What do you call a 100-year-old frog?
An old croak!
Q: What do you call a sad soda?
A: Soda-pressing.
How do you throw a space party?
You planet 🤣🤣🤣
