DoS jokes
I was on a website doing homework, and there was this funny a** commercial banner saying: "Eat a bag of Dick's!" It was the funniest sh*t ever!
How do emo kids complement each other?
They say, "I like ya cuts g."
What do orphans, parents, and trees have in common? They leafed.
What do people get for Christmas when they behave badly? They get coal. Why coal, you're probably saying, because the true meaning is cucks of all kinds.
If you kick an orphan, what are they gonna do? Tell their parents on you?
What do you call it when an orphan takes a selfie?
A family portrait.
Little Johnny runs up to his mother and says, “Mommy, mommy, the other day I was playing with my ball upstairs, and my ball got away and into your closet. When I went to get it, Daddy came in with the lady next door, and they started hugging and kissing. The lady next door took off Daddy’s clothes, and Daddy took off the clothes from the lady next door, and they both got into your bed. The lady next door got on top of Daddy and started...”.
The mother cuts him off and says, “Just stop right there. You wait until your daddy comes home so you can tell him everything you just told me.” A couple hours later, the father arrives and walks through the door to find his wife and child with bags packed. She walks up to him and slaps across the face, shouting, “I’m leaving you... Go ahead, Johnny, tell him what you told me earlier.” Johnny steps forward to tell his daddy. “Daddy, the other day I was playing with my ball upstairs, and my ball got away and into your closet. When I went to get it, you came in with the lady next door, and you both started hugging and kissing. The lady next door took off your clothes, and you took off the clothes from the lady next door, and you both got into your bed. The lady next door got on top of you and started doing the same thing Mom did with Uncle Joe last summer.”
Why do orphans hate hide n seek?
'Cause they can't find their parents.
What do orphans call a family pic?
A selfie.
Where do fishes keep their money?
In a riverbank.
Q: Why do depressed people always have colored hair?
A: That’s as close as they can get to dye.
Why do I have to go to a shooting range when I can go to school and do it for free?
Do you ever consider during the cremation that the meat is well done?
What do you call a kid with autism who saw Star Wars?
Chewbacca.
Why do orphans like to have sex?
So they can finally have someone to call "daddy."
My girlfriend’s dog died, so I tried to cheer her up by getting her an identical one. But, unfortunately, it just made her more upset.
She screamed at me, “What am I supposed to do with two dead dogs?”
My wife and I have made a difficult choice and have decided we do not want children.
If anybody does, please just send me your contact details, and we can drop them off tomorrow.
Why do Priests like playing the violin? They get to finger A minor.
What do Madeline McCann and a submarine have in common?
Both are at the bottom of the ocean full of seamen!
What do you call 2 lesbians in a canoe?
Fur Traders.