DoS jokes
What do you call an orphan running home?
He couldn't find home.
Why do emo people go to the store with no money?
Because they just scan their bar code and get everything free.
1. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
2. Why did the melon jump into the lake? It wanted to be a water-melon.
3. What did the duck say when it bought lipstick? “Put it on my bill.”
4. What do you call a pig that does karate? A pork chop.
5. What has a bed that you can’t sleep in? A river.
6. Why were the teacher’s eyes crossed? She couldn’t control her pupils.
7. What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? An Envelope.
8. How does the ocean say hello? It waves.
9. What lights up a soccer stadium? A soccer match.
10. What creature is smarter than a talking parrot? A spelling bee.
11. Which U.S. state has the smallest soft drinks? Minnesota (as in, “mini-soda”).
12. Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek? Because he was always spotted.
13. Apparently, you can’t use “beef stew” as a password. It’s not stroganoff.
14. Why did the drum take a nap? It was beat.
15. Where do hamburgers go dancing? They go to the meat-ball.
16. Why did the tomato turn red? It saw the salad dressing.
17. Why shouldn’t you write with a broken pencil? Because it’s pointless.
What shouldn't you ask an emo?
"Do a wrist reveal."
What do you call a swimming terrorist?
A bath bomb.
What do you call a deer with no eyes?
No idea.
Bonus joke: What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?
Still no idea.
Why aren't apple chargers called apple juice? Also, how do you throw away trash cans?
Q: What do you call two nuns watching television?
A: Not very interesting.
Why do orphans like water?
Cuz they drink it ;)
Why do emo kids love dressing up on Halloween so much?
It's their last holiday for them, but at least they're still hanging on...
What do depression and suicide have in common?
Nothing, they're both hanging.
Where do cows eat lunch?
In the calfeteria, dumb butt!
Q: What do you call a duck that's sad?
A: Idk, but it's acting really duckpressed.
What do the people in heaven that died on the Titanic call the Titanic? The Dietanic.
What do me and Monster cans have in common? A barcode.
Where do T. Rexes shop? Dino-stores.
What do we want? Racecar noises!
When do we want them? NEOWWWWW!
Teacher: What's 3 minus 1? Me: I don't know. Teacher: How about this, you have three cakes, I take one. How many cakes do you have? Me: Three. Teacher: If I take one cake from your three, what do you have? Me: Three cakes and a dead teacher.
So I went to a church and I asked a friend, "Is the picture on the wall Jesus, and does it have three nails or one nail?" Oh wait, that's not Jesus, he is not doing the T pose that he invited.
Little Johnny walked into his parents' room to see them going at it.
He asked his mom what they were doing, and she said, "Uh, we're play fighting," and he's like, "With no clothes on?"
She said, "Yeah," and so he said, "Let me join you then..."