Three men die the same time and I'll go to heaven to go find St Peter St Peter says to them is going to be a long journey to heaven so I will give you a good vehicle depending on how much you've cheated on your wives we'll start with you Michael since you were quite the womanizer you and cheating on your on your wife multiple times you will be getting a Toyota the man embarrassed left in the Toyota Nolan you you were better you cheated on your wife twice so I will give you a Mercedes now for now as for you mark you never cheated on your wife you are an absolute saint so I will be giving you a Lamborghini and the Man in the Toyota saw the man with the Lamborghini the next day crying like a child on his car and he and the Man in the Toyota what the hell is going on and the Man in the Lamborghini says I was through streets of Heaven and so my wife riding in roller skates
My ex's dad died while she was texting me she said she had a boyfriend but I told her I had a dad.
You fighting? More like you dying!
When I die, I'll let everyone I kept dear lower my coffin into the ground.
So they can let me down one last time.
I should probably stop making jokes about 9/11 My dad died to it, he was a great piolet
Me and my friend were cranking 90s in fortnite then our other friend joined started flying a plane we died like all the people in 911
I wonder if any of these people are still alive.
Anyways,
When I arived at the pearly gates when I died, the guardian asked me how I died. I told him I was just hanging around.
once i was riding my bike and saw a $5 i jumped of and died
Why did so many people die in the Grenfell Fire Disaster in London ?
All the exit signs were in English
3 Europeans head to an island. They are captured by the island people. They are going to kill them and they plead. They grant them a chance to live. The island people tell them to grab a fruit from the tribe's garden and bring it back, then to follow the task at hand. The first guy brings back a peach. The island leader says, "Stick it up your ass. If you laugh, you die." The first guy shoves it up his ass and laughs, so they kill him. The second guy brings a grape, he does the same and laughs, making them kill him. The first two are in heaven together. "Peaches are fuzzy so I laughed. How the hell did you die? You had a grape!" says the first guy. The second guy replied,"It didn't tickle at all. I laughted at the sight the third guy was bringing over a pinapple."
Ps. My brother made this up when he had no meds.... I almost died 😅
What does ATM stand for........
Answer: Amy’s Terrible Mom
😂🤣
Here is a story, my best friend was Chinese, his name was Chong- king. I took him to a restaurant one day and he said “ I am Chong king. I said I know your name is Chong king, within a few minutes he just randomly died making weird noises and turning blue by every second.
Anyone know what happened?
if i die does my depression die with me?
I know everything about Walt Disney! How he died, How his mom and dad died, how his kids died, when he was born, where he was born, and HOW he was born. 😏
what gets biger when it eats but dies when it drinks. answer: fire
I would like to die like my islamic father, in his sleep. But not like the rest of the people in the plane or those in those identical towers.
Pilot: This is my last flight everyone Passangers: *Clap* Pilot: I became a pilot for one reason. To conquer my greatest fear. Flight Attendant: And what is that? Pilot: Dying alone. * speeds up towards Twin Towers* Also the Pilot: Now who is ready to play some Jeng------
