Declaration Of Independence jokes

Signs my cousin is going places when he's older:

TEST QUESTION: Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

He wrote: "At the bottom of the page."

Smart kid!

I woke up this morning thinking it was gonna be a great day. But then I realized I was still alive.

The colors red, white, and blue are the colors of freedom. Until they are flashing behind you.

I find it ironic that the colors red, white, and blue stand for freedom... Until they are flashing behind you!

Daughter: Dad.

Dad: Yes honey?

Daughter: I'm lesbian.

Dad: Ok.

Daughter 2: Dad.

Dad: Yes?

Daughter 2: I'm lesbian too.

Dad: God, does anyone like boys around here?

Son: I do...

My teacher gave us an assignment, and one of the questions was "What do you want to be when you grow up?"

I answered, "Happy."

The teacher said I didn't understand the test. I said to her that she didn't understand life.