my mother caught me jerking off and she told me to leave it out. i didnt know what she doing but she grab my cock and started sucking. then i found out on porn she was doing deep throat. a couple of weeks later my dad caught me jerking off, i thought he would deep throat, but he just walked up to me and slapped my boner. i cried for 5 hours. luckily my mum gave me a sloppy joe afterwards.
why cant an orphan play football because they don't have an dad or mom
It was Christmas time for Little Johnny. He was going to make some cookies and milk for Santa until he heard shaking and moaning from his mother's bedroom. He thinks, "Meh, Dad's probably back from the grocery store". But 2 seconds later, he heard a "Ho Ho Ho Oh YEAH" and then a slap. He opens the door. He finds Santa riding on his 19 yr old mom. He asks, "Santa, when did you get here and WHAT are you doing?". Santa replied, "Your mother asked for her 'milk jar' to be filled, and that's what I am doing." Johnny says, "Oh." "But, Mom, you told me Dad was here, well where is he?"
(Santa winks at you)
Yo dad left you 10 years ago and your 10 years old so Your dad anrvriser is to day
Milk makes you tall right? Well how did you get tall if your dad didn't come back with the milk??
Pov your dad is gone knock knock whos there not your dad LMAO
why did ur dad FUCKING LEAVE U he went to suck balls What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball?
She gagged.
A toddler, was giving her daddy a tea party She brought him a little cup of "tea" which was just water, of course. After several cups of tea , her Mom came home, Dad made her wait in the living room to watch his little Princess bring him a cup of tea, because it was, "Just the cutest thing!" Mom waited, and sure enough, here she come down the hall with a cup of tea for Daddy. She watches him drink it up and then says, "You know the only place she can reach water, is the toilet!
I was at school one day and my teacher gave me home work and once i got home i did not do my home work but i watched TV after movie i finally went to go do my home work i was almost done with my home work when i got to the last question i didnt know the answer so i asked the closest living being to me witch was my dog and i asked him: whats two minus two? he said nothing
One day little johnny walks in on his dad getting dressed and asked what is that daddy. Dad"Oh that's my snake." The next day little johnny walks in on his mom getting dressed and askes what is that mom says"that's my bushes" the next day Little johnny cant sleeps so he goes into his parents room and asks dad why is your snake going into moms bushes.
"when someone asks for a dad joke and you send them to the orphan page."
Was your dad a pilot? Because I rate you a 9/11
What's the difference between herpes and my dad?...
Herpes stays around
My dad killed himself - because he was Hitler
Dad: johnny! johnny! Little Johnny: Yes Papa? Dad: Did you hit your brother? Little Johnny: no papa! Dad: Telling Lies? Little Johnny: No Papa Dad: Let Me See Your Fist Little Johnny: Ha Ha Ha Dad: What Is So Funny? Little Johnny: You Are Dad because I DON'T HAVE A BROTHER Dad: >:( Little Johnny: WHAT ITS TRUE Dad: you do have a point there johnny Little Johnny: Love You Dad Dad: Love you too son
My dad died, so I dug his grave. I was asked why I murdered him, I answered "Guess we'll never know who did it because he dug his own grave." My father was William Afton.😝😝😝😝😜😜🥱🥱🥵🥵🥴🥴🥴😩😩😃😃🤗🤗🤗🤗🤫🤫🤫🤫😊😊😊😊😊😉😘🥰😍🤤🤤🤤🤤🤤🤤🤤🥴🥴🥴🥴🤕🤕🤕🤒🤒🤒🤧🤮🤮🤮🤮😩😬😣😳🌛🥶🤧🥵😩😫🤧🤑🌜🥵😦😳😮🙁😢🤐😫🌜🤤😘😫😬🥱😘🥴🤣🙂😑😏😑😏😏
What did the dad say when he left the lollipop stores? "Cya suckers🍭"
What’s the difference between the twin towers and an airplane landing strip? Don’t know, neither did my dad
A kid decided to burn his house down. His dad watched, tears in his eyes. He put his arm around the mom and said, "That's arson."
I ear ass your dad's ass and he likes it
