Criminal Law jokes

If you push someone that's bullying, if you kill someone that's murder, if there is no evidence it's nothing.

Suicide is illegal because it's a crime to destroy government property.

Girl: "Hey, why don't you come over?"

Guy: "I can't. Cops are looking for me, they say I killed 2 people."

Girl: "C'mon, my parents aren't home."

Guy: "About that..."

I hate these double standards.

If you burn a body at a crematorium you're "doing a good job". If you do it at home you're "destroying evidence".

The judge asked me, "How does 5 to 10 years sound?"

I said, "Sexy."