Cow jokes
What’s the point in a cow going to the cinema? To be a-moo-sed!
Mooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo - u
Teacher: Kids, what does a chicken give you?
Students: Eggs.
Teacher: Very good. Now, what does the pig give you?
Kids: Bacon.
Teacher: Excellent. Now, what does the fat cow give you?
Kids: Homework.
Two cows standing in a paddock, one says, "Moo." The other turns to him and says, "I was just going to say that!"
I had to give up my vegetarian diet.
Turns out they're a lot harder to catch than cows.
What did the bull tell his son before it went for college?
Bye-son.
What does a cow use in school? A cowculator.
You guys are cow-medians!
So funny!
My arse hole hurts like no joke, man. I just had to tell that your heads a peanut, you fucking nonce, kid, you fat fuck sack, your mum you dirty cow!
What do you get from a dwarf cow?
Condensed milk.
What do big fat male cows have?
Moobs.
Why were the cows so noisy in the barn?
Because they had horns!
Why was the cow afraid?
Because he's a coward!
How do you count cows with a cowculator?
Biggest chungus to the rescue, fat bitches!
Why did Beethoven get rid of his chickens?
They were always saying "Bach, Bach, Bach". And his cows preferred Moo-zak.
What do you call a cow in a moving van?
A: A mooving cow.
What did the cow say to the farmer? Moo away!
Reporter: "Excuse me, may I interview you?"
Man: "Yes!"
Reporter: "Name?"
Man: "Abdul Al-Rhazim."
Reporter: "Sex?"
Man: "Three to five times a week."
Reporter: "No no! I mean male or female?"
Man: "Yes, male, female... sometimes camel."
Reporter: "Holy cow!"
Man: "Yes, cow, sheep... animals in general."
Reporter: "But isn't that hostile?"
Man: "Yes, horse style, dog style, any style."
Reporter: "Oh dear!"
Man: "No, no deer. Deer run too fast. Hard to catch."
What's a cow's favorite thing?
A mooooovie.