Why are your eyes blue? Cuz they have food coloring in them.
What color is a burp?
Burple!
The colors red, white, and blue are the colors of freedom. Until they are flashing behind you.
Man: I know how to please a woman. Woman: Then please leave me alone, you ugly two-faced hypocrite.
Man: I want to give myself to you. Woman: Sorry, I don’t like ugly peasants.
Man: Your hair colour is fabulous. Woman: I hate your hair colour, though.
Man: You look like a dream. Woman: Then open your ugly eyes and stop sleeping, hypocrite!
Man: I can tell that you want me. Woman: Yes, I want you dead.
R.I.P
Man: Hey, baby, what’s your sign? Woman: F*** you, pedophile!
Man: Your body is like a temple. Woman: Sorry, there are no services for pedophiles.
Man: Is this seat empty? Woman: Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down, you little peasant.
Man: What’s it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar? Every other woman I see looks ugly. Bleuch! Woman: How dare you!
Man: Haven’t I seen you someplace before? Woman: Yeah, that’s why I don’t go there anymore. I saw you playing with boxes in the store room and saying "I AM KING OF THE WORLD!"
My son asked me, “What is angel cake made of?”
I reply by listing the ingredients in Mr. Kipling angel cakes. Then he shouts “STOP!” I stop as I reach food colorings. He slowly crawls towards me and says in a whisper, “Well, in my angel cake, I put angels in them.”
I freaked out about this, so I calmed down and asked who did you put in this angel cake. He said, “Grandma, the one who died last Saturday.”
What is an astronaut's favorite color? Zoo.
What's Helen Keller's favorite color?
Corduroy.
I once did an exam on rainbows. I passed with flying colors.
Rainbows top the class, as they always score with flying colors.
What's a hamburger's favorite color?
Burgundy.
I accidentally drank a little food coloring last night. I ended up dying inside.
What's a cat's favorite color? Purr-ple.
The sky never changes color, but when it does, we know how your breath is increasing.
