Closest jokes
Why do orphans love to play family?
Because it's the closest they will be to being normal.
Why did the orphan go to the monkey exhibit?
To see his closest relatives.
The closest thing in a depressed person's life is a knife and his/her throat.
Teacher: What’s the closest planet?
Kids yell: Sun.
Except for one.
Other kid: Uranus.
Teacher: Uranus?
Other kid: Yeah, it’s right there.
What do you call the closest plant to the sun? The hot ball.
I was at school one day, and my teacher gave me homework. Once I got home, I did not do my homework, but I watched TV. After the movie, I finally went to go do my homework. I was almost done with my homework when I got to the last question. I didn't know the answer, so I asked the closest living being to me, which was my dog, and I asked him: what's two minus two? He said nothing.
The terrorists lost their landing gear and had to make a crash landing into the closest building because religion.
A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were stuck on an island, and the closest populated island was 100km away. So in turn, they try to swim to the island. The brunette swims 10 km then drowns. The redhead swims 30 km then drowns. The blonde swims 50 km then gets tired so she swims back.
Who's the closest family member to Paul Walker?
Answer: The tree.
Yo mamma so fat, scientists say she's the closest planet to Earth!
Closer kin, deeper in!
I asked this kid for a high five, but he could not reach my hand.
Johnny, Johnny?
Yes, Papa?
Do you love me?
No, Papa.
#### you!
I always press the stop button to see you.
I feel wrong. What does this make us?
Still cousins.
Community talk
Im just going to explain, or try to explain, how I feel, because I don't know what else to do before I fucking go insane.
I met Jake about like 3-4 years ago. I was 11 or 12. I came on for the worst jokes ever because of my boyfriend at the time. I quickly became attached to the site, having a place where I could speak to my IRL friends during school, and I met some really cool people. One of these people was Jake. … Read more
When you first see an okapi, you might think it's related to a horse or a zebra. Its body and neck are horse-like, and its legs have black-and-white stripes like a zebra does. But the okapi is not related to a horse or a zebra; its closest relative is actually the giraffe. In fact, okapis are sometimes called forest giraffes, since they live mainly in the rain forests of central Africa. An okapi's relationship to a g… Read more
hey guys, i usually don't do posts like this since i dont wanna vent or whatever, but i wanted to talk to yall. not about my medical shit or me feeling ugly cuz korea or whatever its that i recently lost my best friend and i was wondering im in the asshole lmfao aaand i need advice lmfao first off we met in eigth grade and her name, lets call her kim. kim was in a friend group with me, ha rin (haerin on wje) kim was … Read more