Certainty jokes

Me: Bomber333 is the imposter!

Other Crewmate: Why do you say that as if you know who the imposter is with 100% certainty?

Then he read my username and knew.

I am never wrong. One time I thought I was wrong, but I was mistaken.

Roses or daisies? Now I know what flowers to put on your casket when I murder that pussy.

Autists either believe everything you tell them or are nonstop skeptics. There is no in-between.

Sure?

I am right 95 percent of the time, who cares about that other 5 percent?

When you start sweating after filling in "C" for the third time in a row.

Five out of six people agree that Russian Roulette is safe.