New Cat Jokes - Page 9 - Worst Jokes Ever

What is cats and dogs's favourite story and movie? Romeow and Drooliet!

What do cats eat for breakfast???????????

mice krispies

if my cat was a cactus doesn't that make him a catus?

What would you call a mom cat and a kitten walking together?

KIT-KAT :p

What did the cat say to the jar of cookies

ground beef

My Cat sleeps about 20 hours a day. She has her food prepared for her. She can eat whenever she wants, 24/7/365. Her meals are provided at no cost to her. She visits the Dr. once a year for her checkup, and again during the year if any medical needs arise. For this she pays nothing, and nothing is required of her. She lives in a nice neighborhood in a house that is much larger than she needs, but she is not required to do any upkeep. If she makes a mess, someone else cleans it up. She has her choice of luxurious places to sleep. She receives these accommodations absolutely free. She is living like a queen, and has absolutely no expenses whatsoever. All of her costs are picked up by others who go out and earn a living every day. I was just thinking about all this, and suddenly it hit me like a brick in the head, Holy Sh*t, my Cat is a Democrat!

What do you call a cat 🐈 that is glued down? A big cluck

What did one ☝️ cat 🐈 say to the other? Happy 😃

A fish was swimming around in a pond when he noticed a fly flying around about six inches above the water. He thought, "if that fly drops six inches, I could have myself a nice meal."

There was a bear watching the fish watching the fly. He thought, "if that fly drops six inches, that fish will come up for that fly, and I can catch that fish and have myself a nice meal."

There was a hunter watching the bear watching the fish watching the fly. He thought, "if that fly drops six inches, the fish will get the fly, the bear will go for the fish, and I can shoot the bear and have myself a nice meal."

There was a mouse watching the hunter watching the bear watching the fish watching the fly. He thought, "if that fly drops six inches, the fish will get the fly, the bear will get the fish, the hunter will shoot the bear, drop his sandwich and I can have myself a nice meal."

There was a cat in a tree watching the mouse watching the hunter watching the bear watching the fish watching the fly. He thought, "if that fly drops six inches, the fish will get the fly, the bear will get the fish, the hunter will shoot the bear, drop his sandwich, the mouse will go for the sandwich, and I can catch that mouse and have myself a nice meal."

Then it all happened.

The fly dropped six inches.

The fish came up and caught the fly.

The bear came out and caught the fish.

The hunter got up to shoot the bear and dropped his sandwich.

The mouse went for the sandwich.

The cat jumped from the tree, missed, and landed in the pond.

The lesson that can be learned here is that every time a fly drops six inches, a pussy gets wet.

That moment when you have to ask your Chinese neighbor if he's seen your cat.

What's a popular name in China? Curiosity, because curiosity killed the cat.

What's so wrong about trump being in office?

He steals all the cats.

What’s the difference between a cat and a dog?

It’s easier to throw a cat against the wall.

I was going to tell you a joke about a big cat but I would be lion.

How are a mouse and a bale of hay alike. The cat'll eat it (the cattle eat it)

Do you know warrior cats? I heard Hawkfrost is Cold.

hi i.............................................................................................................. sorr y my cat t f my cat touched my computtter i dont know where how to deleete. the joe is the joke is that f if you if jj sorry its har d to type the joke is that if y if you

if you i taking a cap if you if if you take a cap off a bottle is it decaptai decapit j decapti decapitation soryr guys sorry guys its g h its a aha h h a ah ah a hard word to spell