Captain jokes
If Shaq had a boat, he would name it "Freethrow," because he would never sink it.
What caused Captain Hook's death?
He accidentally used the wrong hand to wipe his ass.
Q: What's a ship's least favorite food? A: Iceburg-ers
"Jack Sparrow."
"Captain, Captain Jack Sparrow!"
Captain America is a 106-year-old virgin.
Putin be like that boat is now a submarine!
You: "Captain, where is this plane going?"
Captain: "New York, 175 Greenwich Street."
Luisa: The ship doesn't swerve, as it heard how big the iceberg is.
Captain of the Titanic: Wait, what did you say?
3 minutes later:
Why didn't I listen to the strong one?
There was a plane crash. The pilot's names were Captain Sum Ting Wong, Wi Tu Lo, Ho Lee Fuk, and Bang Ding Ow.
Imagine if hitting the iceberg wasn't an accident and it was all just the sailors' fault like this:
Sailor 1: Hey Ron. Sailor 2: Yeah? Sailor 1: You see that iceberg over there? Sailor 2: Yeah. Sailor 1: You know what would be pretty funny?
What did the captain of the Titanic do before the Titanic sunk?
He nominated everyone for the ice bucket awards.
If the captain of the Titanic was dumb, he would eat the iceberg.
Girl: Hi (flirt)
Boy: Hi? (reluctant)
Girl: I'm a cheerleader captain, I'm also single (flirt).
Boy 2: Excuse me?! He's MY MAN...
Why are Captain from SpongeBob and Michael Jackson so similar?
They both say, "Are you ready, kids?"
What's the difference between Captain Morgan and Amy Winehouse?
Captain Morgan comes alive when you add coke.
What do Michael Jackson and the Captain from the Spongebob theme song have in common? They both say "are you ready kids?"
The pirate looked down the toilet, and what did he see?
The captain's log.
"Hello, this is your captain speaking. We are flying at a level of 89 feet. If you look out of your window on the left, you will see the World Trade Center."
It's tricky when you're both a moth and a sea captain in charge of a ship, but up ahead, you see a lighthouse.
kapteyn = captain