Cancer patients jokes
It is September. What's the difference between a stage four colon cancer patient and Santa Claus? Santa is coming for Christmas!
Q: How many more chemo treatments did the cancer patient need?
A: Tumor.
What's the difference between milk and a cancer patient?
There's none, they both don't age well.
Doctor: You have cancer.
Patient: Will I survive?
Doctor: Probably not.
Why didn't the kid cancer patients like his joke?
He said, "You'll understand when you get older!"
Did you hear about the story of the husband who told his wife she’d look sexier with her hair back?
Apparently, that’s not a nice thing to say to cancer patients.
A young man cracked a joke about dementia to his friend on the bus. The old man sitting next to him politely asked, “Can you stop making jokes about terminal diseases?”
He replied, “Yes, I cancer.” Then he cracked tumor.
EMINEM: His palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy.
WebMD: Cancer.
What’s the difference between a cancer patient and a British news reporter in the South?
They usually don’t live to tell the tale.
Everyone becomes happy when they complete the last stage of the game.
But the cancer patients aren't.
What did the cancer patient get for Valentine's Day? Candy wigs.
Did you hear about the new Pixar movie? It's about cancer patients. It's called "Finding Kemo."
Dolls have wigs made of mohair, cancer patients have wigs of no hair.
How many cancer patients does it take to change a lightbulb? 10, 1 to change the lightbulb, 9 to talk about how inspired they are?
What's a cancer patient's favorite food?
Kentucky Fried Chemotherapy
Cancer is the best thing ever! Hahah, fuck all you cancer patients!
Carys’s mum has chemo.
What do you call an emo cancer kid?
Chemo.
Cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer.
I don't get why cancer is so hard to beat. My friend's already on stage 4.
Lol making jokes about cancer makes me feel better as a person that had cancer, it’s great!
So I suggested to my wife that she'd look sexier with her hair back...
Which is apparently an insensitive thing to say to a cancer patient.
The cancer patient asked the doctor how many more months he had to live. The doctor replied, "Tu-more."
What’s the most common name for cancer patients?
Luke (leukemia)