Cancer patients

Cancer Patients Jokes

Lightbulb

How many cancer patients does it take to change a lightbulb? 10, 1 to change the lightbulb, 9 to talk about how inspired they are?

  • 0
  • Kid

    Why didn't the kid cancer patients like his joke?

    He said, "You'll understand when you get older!"

  • 0
  • Tumor

    The cancer patient asked the doctor how many more months he had to live. The doctor replied, "Tu-more."

  • 1
  • Difference

    What’s the difference between a cancer patient and a British news reporter in the South?

    They usually don’t live to tell the tale.

    Cancer

    Did you hear about the new Pixar movie? It's about cancer patients. It's called "Finding Kemo."

    Name

    What’s the most common name for cancer patients?

    Luke (leukemia)

  • 4
  • Cancer

    So I suggested to my wife that she'd look sexier with her hair back...

    Which is apparently an insensitive thing to say to a cancer patient.

    Cancer

    Everyone becomes happy when they complete the last stage of the game.

    But the cancer patients aren't.

    Cancer

    Did you hear about the story of the husband who told his wife she’d look sexier with her hair back?

    Apparently, that’s not a nice thing to say to cancer patients.

    A young man cracked a joke about dementia to his friend on the bus. The old man sitting next to him politely asked, “Can you stop making jokes about terminal diseases?”

    He replied, “Yes, I cancer.” Then he cracked tumor.

    EMINEM: His palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy.

    WebMD: Cancer.

    Tumor

    Q: How many more chemo treatments did the cancer patient need?

    A: Tumor.

    Doll

    Dolls have wigs made of mohair, cancer patients have wigs of no hair.