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Calorie jokes

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Food

12 views · MEME LORD · 1 year ago

The image shows two side-by-side depictions. On the left, there's a plate of fried food next to a glass of beer, labeled "1500 Calories". On the right, a pack of Marlboro cigarettes is labeled "0 Calories".

Hot pocket

75 views · Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

A Hot Pockets package with the text "Made with 100% existential dread. THE ENDLESS COSMIC VOID with the sound of a thousand collapsing stars in a suffocating groan." Instead of a typical filling, the inside shows black tentacles and other strange shapes. There is also text describing the product as "OVERWHELMINGLY STUFFED WITH VISIONS OF THE ABYSS -THE SIZE OF THE UNIVERSE - THE LENGTH OF TIME - THE EDGE OF REALITY" The label says "Nestle Hot Pockets"

Weekend

15 views · Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

The image shows two contrasting scenes under the heading "Rethink Your Weekend." On the left, there's a plate of fried food and a mug of beer, labeled as "1500 Calories." On the right, there's a Dyson sphere, which is a hypothetical megastructure that completely encompasses a star to harness its energy, labeled as "124 trillion Calories."

Meat

4 views · Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

A package of ground beef with a label stating "My name was Jeff. I wanted to live. Your personal choice killed me. Don't eat meat!" next to a picture of a man, presumably named Jeff.

Foot

10 views · i love cheeks and toes bruh · 2 years ago

ill suck on that big toe for 5 bucks in the back of an alley way to be honest

The image consists of two parts. On the left, there is an image of a 'Foot by the Foot' candy package with the text "NO ARTIFICIAL FLAVORS" and "HAND FREE". The package shows feet with arms instead of legs. The text also says, "35lb (15875.7g) ROLL 1 [25.36 FEET PER ROLL] PER FOOT 9001 CALORIES 5 TOENAILS 0 BUNIONS". On the right, there is an image of a single foot with a large toe and the text "imagine if we had one giant toe instead of multiple little ones". There are also small feet in heels shown in the upper left corner.

Cereal

5 views · Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

Root

4 views · Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

A can of "RANCH WATER BUTTERMILK HARD SELTZER" is shown with a celery and carrot garnish sticking out of the top. In the background a bottle of Hidden Valley Ranch Dressing is slightly out of focus.

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