Newest Boyfriend Jokes - Page 3

Girlfriend: "One day I will marry and a lot of men will be sad that day." Boyfriend: "Wow, how many men do you plan to marry?"

What’s big, pink, long and makes my 12 year old girlfriend cry when I put it in her mouth?

Her miscarriage.

STORY OF 2 PEOPLE NOT ME:

Girlfriend: What would you do if I won the lottery? Boyfriend: I would take half and leave you Girlfriend: Ok cool I won 12 dollars heres 6 and don't come back

I asked my boyfriend who his favorite motivational speaker was. He said Andrew tate. I told him the BEST motivational speaker was Stephen hawking.

A woman was sitting alone at a bar and a man approached her. He asked her why she looked so sadly. She responded that her boyfriend had just broken up with her because she was too kinky.

The man expressed his amazement when he admitted that his girlfriend had dumped him because of his fetishes. After a few drinks they decided to go back to her place.

When they arrived she told him to make himself comfortable while she freshened up. The man complied. After a long time she burst open her bedroom door and she said, "I hope you're ready!"

She stood in the doorway wearing a latex body suit and a gas mask. She had a whip in one hand, a flogger in the other hand and a 12 inch strap-on dangling between her thighs.

The dude looked at her and said, "Thanks, but I'm good for the night!"

She said, "I thought you said that you were kinky."

The dude replied, "While you were in there I f-cked your cat, pissed in your plants and came on your curtains. It's been fun!

Wanna touch my shirt? It's made of boyfriend/girlfriend/partner material

????: Omg my Blind Boyfriend cheated on me

Me: what did you expect him to see other hoes...

My boyfriend and i were playing baseball last night with some of our friends. Halfway through the game we took a break and he asked me to hold his balls for him whilst he went to the toilet. All our friends were shocked when i went into the boys bathroom with him.

One day someones ex was going to the kitchen to get something to eat and her ex boyfriend was there and gave her an apple next minute she had clamydia. What did the boyfriend do?

When someone said to an orphan my boyfriend ghosted me the orphan says back don't worry my parents ghosted me 🤣

An orphan girl’s boyfriend broke up with her, what was his reason?

“If her parents didn’t want her, why should I?” 😂😂😂

like if you have a boyfriend girlfriend or husband or wife or a crush.

i broke up with my boyfriend and stole his wheel chair.

guess who came crawling back.

As a son I was starting to do pranks. I told my mom’s boyfriend that she cheated on him, and she don’t want to be with him no more, and I told him that my mom said that he had a small penis. He left my mom, and she was mad at me. I thought it was funny. Then I told my friend girlfriend that he cheated on her with another girl, and the girl told me that my friend had a small penis. He found out, and wanted to co front me in my house. I wasn’t home. My friend told my mom what happen then my mom said the same thing happen to me. I came home one day I saw my mom giving my friend a blow job I ask what’s going on. My friend told your mom is my new girlfriend & my mom said this is the penis of my dreams.

On a scale of 1-10, how old was Michael Jackson’s last boyfriend?

i once cummed on my boyfriend's dick { puts an eggplant emoji } i like to watch porn to ;)

As a son I like sports and I watch sports with my mom. So one day we were looking at football. My mom ask me who makes the most money I said the quarter back. My mom told me I going to get a quarter back has my new boyfriend and it be your new step father. a week lady my mom went out I came home I see my mom making out with a high school kid. I said whats going on my mom said look my new boyfriend and new step father is the high school quarter back. My mom said see mission accomplish. I said yeah job well done.