Boobs Jokes

Boobs are like friends: you have big ones, small ones, real ones, fake ones, but they all get taken out by cancer.

What's the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with boobs?

One is a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean.

Here’s a trick I learned to do on the calculator.

Sally had 69 boobs (69) which was too too too many (69222), so she went to the doctor on 51st street (6922251), and he said to take a certain pill 8 times a day (6922251 times 8), which left her (flip your calculator over)

Boobless.

A man is being arrested by a female police officer, who informs him, "Anything you say can and will be held against you." The man replies, "Boobs!"

So, you're into pronouns? Let me she/them titties.

Hot women with big boobs work at Hooters, but where does a handicap woman work?

IHOP.

What do boobs and toys have in common?

They were both originally made for kids, but daddies end up playing with them.

What do you call a woman with three boobs? Tres leches.

What does one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?

"If we don’t get some support people will think we are ball sacks..."

A girl walked into a job interview. The interviewer said, "You are what we are looking for, but I need to test your skills." He hands her a pen. He said, "Sell me this pen." She puts it between her boobs.

Get a calculator.

Okay, anyways, Sally has 69 bottles of boobs (because she is a cannibal that collects boobs) and her friend said it was 222 many. She got caught by the police and was taken to 51st Street. She got arrested for x8 days, so she was BOOBLESS.

This morning I was beaten up by a busty woman in an elevator.

I was staring at boobs, and she said, "Press One?"

So I did...

I don't remember much after that.

Boobs are like batteries...

AA will get the job done...

C is bigger than AA...

D is bigger that C...

...and if they're square, you don't want to put your tongue on them!

A man accidentally elbows a woman's boob as she is standing behind him in a hotel lobby. The man apologizes profusely and says, "If your heart is as soft as your breasts, I know you'll forgive me."

To which the woman replied, "If your dick is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 318."

My doctor is a very attractive woman; gorgeous face, nice boobs, smoking hot body. She said to me, “You are in your 50’s now, you have GOT to stop masturbating.” I asked why. She replied, “Because I’m trying to examine you, ya’ pervert!!!”

What's the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with boobs?

One's a crusty bus station and one's a busty crustacean.

Susie was in her mother's room one night, as her mother was getting ready for bed. She had slipped off her blouse; her boobs, plum and perky. Susie had asked what are those and will I get them? Her mother had said they were boobs and she would grow some in a few years. Her mother told Susie to find her father and say goodnight.

So Susie left, headed down the hall to the bathroom where her father was showering. Susie knocked on the door, he said come in. He had moved the shower curtain over just a bit. Susie said she loved him, and then seen her father's dick. Shocked, Susie asked her father what that was and if she would get one. Her father said it was a dick, and he said Susie would get it after her mother went to bed.

My wife wanted a boob job. I told her it was too expensive.

I told her all she has to do is take some toilet paper and rub it in between her boobs for a few days, and they would get bigger. She asked, "How is that supposed to work?"

I replied, "I don't know how it works, but it did a heck of a job on your ass!"

What did one saggy boob say to the other?

"We better start getting some support around here, or people are gonna think we're nuts!"

Sally had 69 boobs, which was 222 many, 69,222. So she went to the doctor on 51st street, 69,222,51, who gave her pills. She took them 8 times a day, and now she is boobless.