Blind

Blind jokes

"Brown bear, brown bear, what do you see?" I see a blind man looking at me.

"Blind man, blind man, what do you see?"

Oh sorry, I forgot you can't see.

What did the blind man say to his dog after eating dinner?

"Just ate a tasty steak!"

Why are blinds called blinds?

Because when they aren’t closed, they are blinding!

One day I was passing a blind man and I gave him a gun and told him it was a blow dryer.

Next day I went for another walk and saw his grave.

My wife and I went to the bar to get a drink, but 2 mins later, I see her dead on the ground. I guess she couldn't see the bottle flying at her face. Then I laughed and went home.

My blind friend is so annoying, he kept bumping into things even though I repeatedly told him to look where he was going.

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  • I got home one day and a Spanish guy, white guy, black guy told me that your sister knows her meats.

    She won a trophy. We blindfolded her, then my sister said, "Yeah, I was blindfolded, and I gave all three of them blowjobs and I had to guess which flavor of the meat it was."

    The Trophy said Best Blowjobs. As a brother, I couldn't be prouder.

    I am reading a horror book in braille.

    Something bad is going to happen. I CAN FEEL IT!

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  • *in the hospital*

    Paralyzed kid: I'm out!

    *walks out the room*

    Blind kid: You can walk?!

    Mute kid: You can see?!

    Deaf kid: You can talk?!

    Doctor: Wut the f**k?

    Why did Sally stare out the window for 24 hours straight?

    Sally's used to being blind!