Blind jokes
What's the best thing about dating a blind chick?
She can't identify you.
One day I was passing a blind man and I gave him a gun and told him it was a blow dryer.
Next day I went for another walk and saw his grave.
My wife and I went to the bar to get a drink, but 2 mins later, I see her dead on the ground. I guess she couldn't see the bottle flying at her face. Then I laughed and went home.
My blind friend is so annoying, he kept bumping into things even though I repeatedly told him to look where he was going.
Have you ever walked into Helen Keller’s house?
She has.
What do you call a disabled kid who is blind?
A grape chilli bean.
I got home one day and a Spanish guy, white guy, black guy told me that your sister knows her meats.
She won a trophy. We blindfolded her, then my sister said, "Yeah, I was blindfolded, and I gave all three of them blowjobs and I had to guess which flavor of the meat it was."
The Trophy said Best Blowjobs. As a brother, I couldn't be prouder.
I am reading a horror book in braille.
Something bad is going to happen. I CAN FEEL IT!
*in the hospital*
Paralyzed kid: I'm out!
*walks out the room*
Blind kid: You can walk?!
Mute kid: You can see?!
Deaf kid: You can talk?!
Doctor: Wut the f**k?
Why did Sally stare out the window for 24 hours straight?
Sally's used to being blind!
I got my sister a book and she cried there, but I forgot she was blind.
Yo mamma is so ugly, she made blind kids cry.
OK, OK, eat your shirt.
I once told a blind orphan, "Hey, look at the bright side!"
What's handsome and smart, you can hear him and see him? It's you good-looking guys! So sad you can't read this since you're blind. Oh geez, I just found this website and I want to make people laugh. Too bad they can't see the joke.
So this blind man was walking down the street with his stick, right? And he walked past this fish market, he took a deep breath and said, "WWOAAH GOODMORNING LADIES!"
Why did Helen Keller's cat run away? I would run away if my name was jufhvfhvurhkso.
So, a blind guy is sitting on a park bench with his seeing eye dog right beside him. Suddenly, his seeing eye dog cocks his leg and pisses all over the blind guy's leg. So the blind guy gives the dog a treat.
A man taking a walk saw the entire thing and said to the blind man, "That is the most charitable thing I’ve ever seen, your dog deliberately pissed on you and here you are giving him a dog biscuit." The blind man says, "Oh it’s not what you think, I’m just trying to find his head so I can kick him in the ass."
Once there was a girl named Sally! She had no arms or legs, was mute, deaf, and blind.
Knock knock Who’s there? Not Sally.
Helen Keller was a pilot in 9/11.