New Bedroom Jokes - Page 4 - Worst Jokes Ever

A husband walks into the bedroom door holding two aspirin and a glass of water.

His wife asked what that was for.

"It is for your headache."

"I don't have a headache."

He smiles. "Gotcha!!!!"

Superman and Flash were in the living room pounding back a few beers. Flash says to Superman, "I bet you can fly into Wonder Woman's bedroom and get the best pussy of your life." So he does it. When he goes back to Flash, Superman says, "Man, that was great, but my ass kinda burns."

Little Johnny catches his parents going at it and says, "Hey dad! Whatcha doin'?"

His father says, "I'm filling your mom's tank."

Johnny says, "Oh yeah, well, you better get a model that gets better mileage because the milk man filled her up this morning."

You’re so short, you could use a pillow as your bed and still have some wiggle room.

When I was a child, my parents told me my uncle was 'sleeping with the fishes.' At first, I thought he bought a water bed, but I then discovered he was killed and buried at sea.

Son said to father, "Last night was the best you and Mom..."

Father said, "Yeah, me, you, and your mother had sex."

Son said, "It was fun licking her pussy."

Father said, "I know it was fun when I sucked YOUR dick and your mother did. Did it feel good?"

Son said, "Yes, it was. Wanna do it again tomorrow?"

Father said, "YES BUT without your mom, we'll suck each other's dick and lick it and bite and shove each other's dick next to each other."

Son said, "Yeah, and if we do it again, let's have Mom and my girlfriend join next time."

Father said, "Ok, it's time to go to bed, son."

Son said, "Ok, love you, can you and Mom sleep with me without your clothes?"

Father said, "Ok, but you have to promise to go to bed."

Son said, "Ok, see you there." 💕👅👅👅💦💦💦💦💦💦🙈🙈💦💦💦💦💦

What does a pillow say when you live for a week? "Don't forget me!"

Ayo imagine having a chocolate fountain, but instead it cost a billion dollars a gallon and you have a hundred thousands, that number will never equate to how many porno magazines and alcoholic beverages and malty liquors stolen from my brother's bedroom as a desperate attempt at being edgy. Ayo, maybe instead of the future cars being powered by petroleum oil and gas, but with hot chocolate.

The Tupperware people came to our house. They asked my wife, "Where's the kitchen?"

Sorry, I have only lived here for 3 months, but my jewelry is upstairs in my jewelry box located in my bedroom.

What do you call a pillow that has been on the bed for 20 years in jail?

A criminal! 😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃

Why did the person take crayons to the bedroom?

To draw the curtains.

When your mom comes in at night then sees your... sleeping, but sees something moving, so she gets a chair and whacks it, then she says, "I thought it was a mouse."

Why do heterosexual men and women that are married in France only perform anilingus on each other in their bedrooms?

Anal sex and oral sex is against the law in France.

What is the difference between the human and a tree and a house that has to walk home and walk walk home from school? Was your name in your house? I did not have any good time for dinner today, but I did have a good night's sleep.