Bartender jokes

A man and a giraffe walk into a bar. The man orders a beer, one for him and one for the giraffe.

After they finish their drinks, the giraffe falls over, and the man gets his stuff and heads for the door.

The bartender says, "Stop! You can't leave that thing lying on the floor!"

The man says, "Mate, that's not a lion, it's a giraffe."

Three Vulcans walk into a bar.

The bartender asks the first Vulcan, "Y'all want a drink?" The first Vulcan says, "I don't know."

The bartender asks the second Vulcan, "Y'all want a drink?" The second Vulcan says, "I don't know."

The bartender asks Spock, "Y'all want a drink?" Spock says, "Yes."

A piece of toast and a hard boiled egg walked into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve breakfast here."

A vampire walks into a bar and orders a cup of hot water. The bartender asks, "I thought you guys only drink blood?"

The vampire pulls out a used tampon and says, "I'm making tea."

An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer. The second one orders half a beer. The third one orders a fourth of a beer. The bartender stops them, pours two beers, and says, "You guys should know your limits."

A hamburger walks into a bar.

The bartender says, "I'm sorry. We don't serve food here."

A termite walks into a bar and says, "Hey, is the bartender here?"