Back Door

Back Door jokes

Gay Man

    • How do you know you broke into a gay man’s house?

    The weird moaning sounds when you try to slide in the back door.

    Followed by slipping in Kentucky (KY) Jelly.

    Followed by landing in deep shit.

    Followed by being totally covered in sea men.

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    Mom

    • Ur mom is so fat that when she came to the front door, she was already at the back door.

    Comedian

    • (pre-election 2016) Trump Hating Comedian at seedy East L.A. comedy club -

    "Hey how 'bout that Donald Trump chump... what the fuck up with that dude, man?

    "Geeeezus, he got some kuh-razy ass shit spewing endlessly out that pie-hole, 24/8!" (< leap week, muthafukas!)

    . . . "I mean, even his last name rhymes with shit that's synonymous for bein' fucked up, for instance ....

    STUMP: TEENY DICK

    BUMP: TINY TIT

    GUMP: DIMWITTED MOVIE IDIOT GUY

    MUMP: A FUCKED UP CHILDREN'S DISEASE

    LUMP: IF IT'S MALIGNANT, YOU'RE KINDA FUCKED

    UMP: OFTEN MAKES TERRIBLE CALLS

    RUMP: AN ASS

    DUMP: A PILE OF SHIT THAT CAME OUT OF AN ASS

    HUMP: SOMETHING DADDY DID TO HIM DAILY THROUGHOUT CHILDHOOD

    PUMP: SEE "HUMP"

    . . . and last, but definitely not least --

    JUMP: JUMP INTO A DEEP VAT 'O SCAT MOTHER FUCKER, AND GO STRAIGHT TO HELL BITCH!! ....

    HA! HA! HA! HA! YESSS!!

    .... well boys and girls, that's gonna be about it for me, as I think my explosive diarrhea is about ready to take a big turn for the worse!"

    ......(splort!, plop!, drip!)........ OOOOPS! 'snif, snif'........

    ..... ewwwwww!!

    (audience growing uneasy and unruly)

    "Fuhhk! ... I better go now, 'cause I just went! ... ha! ha! ha! ...... Yikes!!

    GOOD NIGHT LAZIES, AND GERBILMEN! PLEASE DRIVE RECKLESSLY!

    (curtain drops)

    (continuous laughter, guffaws, cheers, jeers, queers, beers, pants peeing, beaters beating, pepper sprayin', fists fuckin', guns poppin', blood pumpin')

    "OH LORDY!!... I THINK HELL HATH FINALLY COMETH,

    ... AND ARMAGITTIN' THE FUCK OUTTA HEEE!!"

    (one very quick curtain call, and swiftly out the back door to an awaiting taxi ............ with ALL the windows rolled down) Whew! ............ Amen.

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