I'd call BlessedBrian a TOOL, but at least a tool serves a PURPOSE
Hey I just want to give a round of applause to Shooter McFly single-handedly keeping the jokes section alive, unappreciated, well, Shooter, one person here appreciates you at least.
What's the difference between a Palestinian and a redneck?
At least the redneck was drunk when he married his cousin.
kid: #1: You're adopted. kid#2: At least they wanted me. kid #1: Did your real parents want you?
There are too many suicidal people in this world. I’m going to make sure there is at least one less.
what is the difference between a pencil and a woman...
at least one has a point
An apple a day keeps the doctor away. Or at least it does if you throw it hard enough.
Why is it that if you donate a kidney, people love you. But if you donate five kidneys, they call the police.
My senior relatives liked to tease me at weddings, saying things like, “You’ll be next!” They stopped once I started doing the same to them at funerals.
My enemy told me I’m adopted so I told him at at least I got adopted
What’s the difference between milk and the air
At least the air will always be there for me
American people: We will throw your teabags in the ocean! British: At least our towers didn’t fall😎
What is the difference between a feminist and a knife? A knife at least has a point.
Why can't orphans play baseball, they don’t know where home is
I made a website for orphans, but it doesn't have a home page
Doctor: I’m going to have to turn you away. Orphan: But why? Doctor: Because I’m a family doctor Why do orphans like boomerangs, cause they come back
Why do orphans become criminals? To know what it’s like to be Wanted. Girls are like rocks the flat ones get skipped
What an orphans least favorite tv show, Family Guy
If you hit an orphan what are they going to do tell their parents
If you hit an orphan with a car at least you don't have to tell their parents
Why did the orphan go to church? So he had someone to call Father What does a orphan call a family photo, a selfie Why was the orphan a big success, cause people say go big or go home he only had one option Why is it ok to hit an orphan? It’s not like they can tell their parents.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite store? Home Depot.
What do orphans and blind kids have in common, the can’t see their parents
Why can't orphans hear about ancient Egypt, because they don’t know what a mummy is
Why are orphans bad at poker, because they don't know what a full house is
What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan.
31. During a recent password audit, it was found that a blonde was using the following password: "MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofySacramento" When asked why such a long password, she said she was told that it had to be at least 8 characters long and include at least one capital.
32. Two crows were in a field when they noticed a figure that looked like a man in the distance. "See that over there? What is that?", says the first crow. The second crows takes a long look, "That's a scarecrow. Looks authentic, doesn't it." "How can you tell it's a scarecrow and not a person?", replies the first crow. "Look at it's hand. No cellphone", says the second crow.
33. Three friends stranded on a deserted island find a magic lamp. Inside it is a genie who agrees to grant each friend one wish. “I want to go home,” says the first friend. The genie grants her wish. “I want to go home, too,” says the second friend. And the genie sends him back home. “I’m lonely,” says the third friend. “I sure wish my friends were back here."
34. A cruise ship passes by a remote island, and all the passengers see a bearded man running around and waving his arms wildly. “Captain,” one passenger asks, “who is that man over there?” “I have no idea,” the captain says, “but he goes nuts every year when we pass him.”
35. After Sunday church, the priest would hand us each an orange and a big cookie. A little girl once lied and took two oranges, but the priest told her she mustn't lie because God is watching. Then, the girl took two cookies and lied about it. When asked why she had done that, she said because she thought that God was only watching oranges.
36. I was in my garden when I got the news that my father had fallen from a 20 feet ladder and was in the hospital. I rushed to the hospital expecting that my father had some major fractures, but he was alright except for some minor cuts. When I told him that it was a miracle, he disagreed and told me, "Son, I had just fallen from the first step of the ladder."
I might not be able to make my bed but at least I can get out of it.
What do orphans and tvs have in common? At least one of them have a home
Q: What's the difference between a prison and concentration camp?
A: At least you don't die when you shower
My parents were concerned when I said I like to bleed but at least I cut my risk of cancer and stroke in half.