Assembly Line jokes

Why was Tickle Me Elmo upset when he left the factory?

Because they only gave him one test tickle.

What did they give Elmo before he left the factory? Two test-tickles.

Confucius say, man who runs behind car will get exhausted, but man who runs in front of car will get tired.

The CEO of IKEA was just elected Prime Minister in Sweden.

He should have his cabinet together by the end of the weekend.

Little Johnny was playing with his train and said, "All you motherf*ckers who want to get off, get off, and all you motherf*ckers who want to get on, get on." His mother hears him and asks, "Is that you cussing?" The mother said, "Go to your room for 1 hour." Little Johnny goes to his room, then comes back one hour later and said, "All you motherf*ckers who wanna get off, get off, and all you motherf*ckers who wanna get on, get on, and if you wanna know about the 1 hour delay, go ask the b*tch in the kitchen."

The furniture store keeps calling me back... But all I wanted was that one nightstand.

Slavery and discipline, it's kind of the same thing. You get whipped for doing the wrong thing.