Ant jokes
One time an ant was collecting food. Suddenly, a wind pushed the ant into the river. The ant said, "Help! Help!" and a pigeon heard it. Then, he grabbed a leaf and threw it in the river. The ant climbed on it, and then the pigeon and the ant became best friends. But one time, a hunter came to kill the pigeon. When the ant saw him, she bit his leg and the pigeon flew away from the arrow, and that's how friends are, everybody.
What do ants use when they're stinky?
Deodorant.
What do ants and Michael Jackson have in common? They go in kids' pants.
For being a big company, NASA is openly saying they want pictures of Uranus.
Kile: Hey, asshole! I bet you listen to trash 50 Cent! How about you get to quarters, listen to him! My favorite rapper is the best of all! How about you go eat a cracker, you parrot nose, fuck!
Remy: I'm... y-y... YOUR DUMBER THAN ANT! I BET YOUR FAVORITE RAPPER IS A CANDY RAPPER!!
What is the plural of goose? Geese.
What is the plural of foot? Feet.
What is the plural of moose? Well, it ain't meese!
What’s up with the foot feet?
What is the plural of "goose"? "Geese."
What is the plural of moose? Well, it ant meese.
Well, it’s my first joke. Please forgive me if it’s bad.
What's more annoying than uncles?
Ants.
What do you call an ant with so much power?
A ter-mite.
What's worse than having ants in your pants?
Uncles.
Name an ant which is very heavy?
Eleph-ant.
When Ant-Man is the size of an atom, how can he breathe?
Why was the ant so confused?
All of its uncles were ants.
Why was the baby ant confused?
Because its uncles were all aunts!
Why don't ants get sick?
Because they have anty-bodies.
So, some ants in a colony go to war. They want some more troops and know that there are ants that went to wars as well. They call them war-ants.
They start barging into homes to search for more war-ants. They barge into a home, and the lady-ant goes, "Hey, why are you here? Can you please leave?" One of the ants replies with, "I'm sorry, but unless you have a war-ant, we have to keep searching your house."
How can you tell if an ant is a boy or a girl?
If it sinks it’s a girl. If it floats, it’s boy-ant (buoyant).
I put peanut butter on my asshole so the dog would lick it, but instead I got bit by ants.
Why are ant colonies very healthy? Because they have lots of antibodies.
22 ants were playing football in a saucer.
One ant said to another one, “We'll have to play better tomorrow. We're playing in the cup!”